The Graduation of the Phoenix
by Luna Kahlo
Summary: The chronicles of Hogwarts during Harry’s parent’s time, a clue to Fawkes’s role in Harry’s life, and owl puddings. The gang’s all hereSnape, Lupin, Black, Potter, Evans, Peeves…and a Ravenclaw girl who is a little off center. Please R
1. Chapter 1

The Making of the Phoenix

(being set at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, circa 1976)

Chapter One

Christmas Holiday

"Skiing in Hogsmead?" the girl made a face. Sirius grinned. All she had to do was reveal that pink slip of tongue. It made the snooty, mysterious aura of Ravenclaw fall away. Now she looked like a normal person-undignified and flattering.

"Sure. Just me, James, Pete and Remus. You wanna come along, Fina?" Her dark hair, turned up at the ends like rolled paper, went along for the ride as she shook her head.

No thanks. Gravity and I don't get along. Being strapped to a couple of sticks on an incline doesn't help."

"Maybe not, but it makes for some grand photos."

"I'm _definitely_ not going."

"Oh, c'mon! I can teach you to ski. What else are you going to do over holiday?" She bristled, each hand finding the crook of her arms. _'No wonder Lily gets frustrated around these boys. They can't take 'no' for an answer.'_

She turned away from Sirius and gleaned a Slythern across the Great Hall. His food remained neatly stacked and untouched on his plate. A book was propped against a pitcher of pumpkin juice. His black hair had fallen over his eyes.

'_That guy's unreal.'_ An excuse jumped into her head.

"I'm using the holiday to study Potions."

"Come again?"

"My grade in Potions is abysmal, Sirius. I need to pull it up in order to pass my N.E.W.T.S next year." Sirius tracked her gaze and frowned. He downed his pumpkin juice, wound his scarf around his neck and stood up.

"Your loss."

"Have fun." Fina watched Sirius exit the Great Hall, then glanced at Severus Snape again.

'_Does he ever eat?'_ She didn't notice Lily Evans sit down beside her.

"Sirius passed me grumbling something about you not going with the boys on holiday." Fina shrugged.

"Trapped in a cabin with a bunch of guys drowning in over-active hormones is _not_ my idea of a good time, Lil. Besides, I really need to get better marks in Potions. Professor Slughorn's giving me the Evil Eye." Lily giggled.

"He only does that if he likes you."

"Come off it," Fina shoved Lily, "he favors everyone but me. That's why you're all in that ruddy club of his. "

"The Slug Club's not so bad," Lily poured herself a glass of juice, "I can tutor you after holiday if you want." Fina scratched a dry patch on her arm.

"Fine by me."

"In the meantime, never mind Slughorn. He's the only decent Slythern the school has."

"Rubbish. He may have charmed you, but he's head of Slythern house," her eyes wandered over to Snape, "they're brilliant at hiding things about themselves." Lily rolled her eyes and drank her juice.

"You're starting to sound like Potter."

"You take that back," Fina poked at her half eaten breakfast, "I want to get into the Ministry. I'm so desperate I'm ready to ask Snape for help if it gets me a passing mark in Potions."

"Bloody serious, this one," Lily nudged her.

"Don't you have a trunk to pack?" Lily set her half drained glass on the table and gathered her books and knapsack.

"Have a nice Christmas, Fina."

"You too, Lil." Snape had closed his book. He left his cold breakfast and headed for the hallway. Fina swore he glared at her as he left.

Hogwarts was swallowed in silence the next day. Only a dozen students stayed behind.

Earlier that week, her father had sent her a note. He would be away on business and couldn't see her during the holidays. This came as no surprise. He was unsure of how to treat her ever since the first letter from Hogwarts arrived. Besides, he used Christmas as a reason to hit the eggnog frequently. She hated hearing about the absent woman in her life. The abandonment ate a hole in both their hearts. Christmas had become, over the years, just another day to them.

Fina decided to raid the library of every potions volume. She needed all the help she could get. The door to the library was propped open. Fina strolled in and walked through the isles, past the reference desk. Madam Pince was gone. Argus Filch was in her place, overfilling the inkbottles. Madam Pince had ears that could hear a book become overdue, but Filch wouldn't know if the roof fell on his head unless his cat told him first. She could peruse the Restricted Section all she liked. Fina slipped into the shadows of the Restricted Section, trailing her fingers over the spines. A couple of titles looked promising. She began to pull them away from the shelf. The rustle of pages gave her reason to pause. She wasn't the only one taking advantage of the Restricted Section. Fina left the books and glanced between the shelves.

She spied Snape at a table in the back corner. How predictable. She had to work at the same table in Potions class with him. He was always completely absorbed and utterly humorless.

Fina reached for one of the Potions books. Was it her imagination, or did it suddenly grow warmer in the Restricted Section? All this worrying over her marks was overtaxing her. Fina shook her head. The shelves spun. That was a rotten idea. Was she coming down with something? Fina touched her hand to her head and suddenly whipped it away. She stuck her fingers in her mouth. She had burned them on her forehead!

_'That can't be good. I've got to get to the Infirmary.'_ Her body disagreed, and her knees folded under her. Books tilted up past her head. Something cleared in her mind for a moment before she hit the bookshelves. She steadied herself, but her hand couldn't bear her weight and she slumped back into the shelves…

"Please be so kind as to fetch another towel. I think this time it will only get singed." With a lot of effort, Fina opened her eyes. A fuzzy Professor Dumbledore sat beside her. She heard the sound of footsteps. Someone was going to the supply cabinet. On the table by her bed were the remains of several washcloths, burned and crumbling, and a bowl of mint green liquid.

"Professor, don't touch my head. It…"

"Can roast marshmallows, my dear. I took the precaution," he held up his hands, which were covered by oven mitts. Fina smiled. She realized her burned hand was wrapped in a bandage. Footsteps approached them and Severus Snape handed Dumbledore a fresh cloth.

"Severus heard you collapse and brought you here. Since Madam Ringworm is on holiday and Mistress Pomfry is in Hogsmede this morning, we took it upon ourselves to remedy your fever. How do you feel?"

"Not as warm as I was in the library. " Dumbledore soaked the towel in the green drink and placed it on her head, oven mitts paused in curiosity. Snape leaned forward. Fina felt like a very interesting bug in a jar.

"What are you doing-waiting for it to burst into flame?"

"Precisely," Snape muttered. When it didn't, they both relaxed.

"The Mint Arctic Salve is something Severus whipped up. Apparently, it helps to pour it all over yourself just before a volcano explodes, to decrease the heat."

"They still have yet to find someone who survived that theory," Snape said in the closest voice to amusement.

"We're lucky to have had you on hand, Severus. Your diligent study of Potions helped a great deal," Dumbledore sounded casual, but Fina could see the gratitude in his eyes. Snape shrugged.

"Bugger luck. He's the top of our class," Fina was shocked to hear the words tumble from her own mouth. Snape glanced at her, then looked at the wall, unimpressed. Dumbledore flipped the towel over.

"Ah, that's right. You both are in the same Potions class. How are you getting along, Fina?"

"Terminally, Professor."

"It's your timing," Snape interjected, "you wait too little or too long." Fina didn't think she had any more heat left in her face. She was wrong. Dumbledore put his oven mitt back on.

"Perhaps you would benefit from a tutor?"

"Got that covered, Professor. Lily Evans already volunteered."

"Do you want to learn Potions or swap gossip?" Fina glared. Was there no filter on this guy?

"I need to pass Potions."

"Then you need a _real_ tutor."

"Perhaps you could use a tutor in communication skills," she rolled her eyes, "Or would that infringe on you busy social life?" She reached up to remove the towel. Snape pushed her hand away.

"I'll volunteer to tutor her, Professor. It would give me a chance to brush up on the basics before the N.E.W.T.S. " Snape stood up.

"Are you well enough to begin tomorrow?" Fina performed a roll call on her body. It was on the mend.

"Yes."

"Potions lab. Twelve noon. Bring all your notes and ingredients." He left the Infirmary, robe billowing out behind him.

"Does he come with an 'off' switch?"

"Severus is a fiercely devoted student, Fina. You'll benefit a great deal under his tutelage." Fina felt the towel lift from her head. Dumbledore removed his oven mitts and touched her forehead.

"Ah, much better. Warm enough to keep an apple pie tasty, but not too hot to burn it."

Christmas Eve day found Fina walking downstairs to the dungeon that was the Potions classroom. It was frigid in the castle. She could see her breath.

"Where's that fever when I need it?" The heavy wood door to the Potions room was closed. She pulled up the latch and let herself in. Did she actually beat Snape here?

Snape was already set up, a fire burning under his cauldron. He didn't turn to look at her.

"Tempus fugit." Fina set her books down and assembled her cauldron perch.

"I can only hope time flies," Fina muttered. Snape pulled a ribbon from his textbook and opened it.

"Potions is not learned in a day. It's not a 'wiggle your fingers' Charms class or 'ominous chanting' Transfiguration class…"

"There's no chanting in Transfig." Snape looked at her as if pitying her for doubting him, "Well, there isn't. The Ministry looks down on chanting."

"And you would know that because…"

"I'm hoping to work in the Beast Division."

"If that miracle occurs, you will need a very good mark in Potions to achieve it," Snape sneered. Fina struck her flint and an angry spark caught under her cauldron.

"We'll start with last week's lesson-the Tundra-Blood Potion." They worked in silence. Metal scales pinged a beat to their procedure. A few minutes later, Snape's potion was a frosty blue. Fina's was a brown sludge.

"I measured correctly. What happened?"

"Did you add the tundra fish scales before or after boiling the polar beetle blood?"

"After. Just as the book says."

"How long after?"

"Immediately after. Why does it matter?" Snape sighed and shoved her aside. He flicked his wand at the contents in Fina's cauldron and muttered 'Evanesco'. They vanished.

"You have to wait for a polar beetle's blood to cool while boiling or the potion will not work."

" 'Cool while boiling'? I suppose next I'll be teaching cats to bark and basilisks to fly?" Snape stirred a cup of polar beetle blood into her cauldron.

"Potions are a subtle art. It's not like boiling tea. You have to know the background of your ingredients in order for it to work." Fina fought the urge to make an insulting face. He was right. The liquid began to boil.

"Now watch." Fina waited.

And waited.

And waited.

"Watch what?" Snape never moved his eyes from the cauldron. Fina sighed and stared at the potion. At least it wasn't brown. The mixture turned dark blue, then boiled away a layer of color. Soon it was the icy hue she had seen in Snape's cauldron. She moved to add the fish scales.

"_NOT YET_," he snapped. Fina gritted her teeth. Who needed Tundra Blood potion when she had Severus Snape? A thin layer of ice began to grow over the boiling mixture.

"_Now_ add the scales." Fina slid a paper sheaf of tundra pike scales into her cauldron. They crumbled through the thin ice skin on top. The boiling stopped. She could hear frost popping.

"You have successfully produced a batch of Tundra Blood," Snape muttered. He began to pour his potion into bottles. Fina fumed, but forced herself to swallow her pride. Clearly, she was doomed if she couldn't even get this simple potion right.

"Could we try another?" Snape corked and labeled each vial.

"I told you-potions cannot be mastered in a day."

"Point taken, but I've got all day and I need to learn this."

"Well, I don't have all day," Snape shot her a look. She lowered her gaze. He signed.

"We can meet here tomorrow at noon."

"On Christmas day?"

"You have a prior engagement?"

"Would I be here if I did?" He tossed his hair out of his eyes.

"It's just another day, Hawkins." She stopped cleaning her cauldron.

"Finally, something we agree on. " Snape left, closing the door to the classroom behind him.

After dinner, Fina walked out to the lawn surrounding the Gamekeeper's cabin with her backpack and folded-up easel. She needed a place to channel her frustration. She set the easel in the snow, lined up dabs of paint on her pallet and got to work outlining the blue and violet shadows in the snow. Her aim was to capture the touches and smells of the land around the Gamekeeper's cabin: frost, smoked wood, worn clay brick. Luminous tangerine and golden wheat light from the setting sun threw shadows everywhere. Fina rubbed a stroke of purple away and gave it more blue.

_'Potions can't be learned in a day.' _She snorted. He needed a Bludger bashed upside the head. She had to endure Sirius's snarky attitude and now she had Snape. _'Personally, I'm spent on patience.'_

_'Well,'_ she chided herself,_ 'what if someone learning to paint tossed down his brush in disgust and whined 'I followed the directions, now what?'_

"Painting's different. Everyone can learn to paint a tree or a house. Some people have more passion about it than others."

_'Anyone can toss ingredients into a pot. Not everyone can make a potion,'_ the gentle voice in her head replied.

"Sure they can," Fina whispered to herself, "as long as they get it close to what the potion should be."

'_Like your brown mud that was __close__ to the Tundra Blood potion?'_

"I'll thank you to never mention that again."

_'Would you settle for a painting that was close to what it could be?' _Fina scowled. She knew the answer to that.

'_Potions is no more predictable than painting. What inspires a potions master to create new mixtures? Certainly not the empty cauldron in front of them! It's the process of creation. Just as you're doing now.' _Fina captured a nearby pine tree on the canvas. Inside the elbow crook of each branch lay a cupful of snow.

"I'm starting to lecture myself like Snape."

_'Bite your tongue!'_

Fina left the lawns in front of Hogwarts as the clock tower chimed eight. She flexed the cold cramps from her shoulders. Snow was falling from the frozen sky. Fina wondered how Lily was getting on. She half regretted staying at the school. She walked up the steps and into the castle. As she approached Professor Dumbledore's office, she slowed to a stop. The door was open. She knocked.

"Come in, Fina. Care for a cup of spiced cider?" Fina nodded, propped her drying canvas against the door and sat down across from Dumbledore. Even though Professor Flitwick was head of Ravenclaw, she had always felt a kinship with the head of Gryffindor House.

"Beautiful shadows." He nodded at the canvas.

"Thank you. How come you're here during the holidays, Professor?" Dumbledore handed her a mug.

"Most of my family travels during the winter. Besides, the quiet of the castle gives me time to reflect and, in some cases, forage on." Fina sipped the cider. It was tart and delicious.

"How was your tutoring session?" Fina scowled.

"Put it this way, Professor: I'd rather swallow a mouse and cram starving cats up my…"

"That will do," Dumbledore chuckled, "I know Severus's manners can be a little rough, but he knows more about Potions than most anyone. I daresay he could give Professor Slughorn a run for his Sickles."

"Potions is like an art to him. He's dead serious about it."

"As you are about painting, I'm sure." Fina put her cup to her lips. _'Touché, Dumbledore.'_

"Does he have any family?"

"An excellent question to ask him next session." _'He knows,'_ she thought. She waved away Dumbledore's offer of a refill.

"How can I talk to him if all he does is spout sarcastic comments and treat me like I've half a brain?" Dumbledore sat back in his chair.

"It simply starts with a word. You will either find a way to endure his company or you won't."

"I wish people like James Potter and Sirius Black didn't harass him so much. It's making my job a lot harder." Dumbledore tapped his nose.

"Exactly. Keep that in mind, Miss Hawkins, and I have no doubt you will solve your problem." Fina drained her cup.

"Merry Christmas, Professor."

"Merry Christmas, Fina. Oh, before you leave," Dumbledore removed his glasses, "We need to discuss your fever…"

Fina pulled the covers over her head. She had seen the daylight. She had seen the elegant gifts at the foot of her bed. Presents were not an adequate substitute for family.

She crawled out of bed and threw on her clothes, ran a comb through her hair, made a horrid face at the mirror and left for the Great Hall. Her mood was so sour, she didn't notice she had chosen the seat across from Snape until she pulled away the pitcher his book was propped against.

"Sorry." Snape glared, but said nothing. Fina poked at her eggs. _Stupid parents. Stupid Snape. Stupid everything._ She pounded her eyelids together to keep the tears from leaking out.

"That's very irritating, you know," Snape nodded at her fork-jabbed eggs.

"You know what's more irritating? Someone who reads books all day long instead of having real friends!" Fina stood up and stormed out of the Great Hall. She walked out into the snow-dipped courtyard, hot tears rolling down her cheeks. Brilliant. Now she was no better than Sirius or James.

At a quarter to noon, Fina gathered her potions supplies and left the Ravenclaw common room. She wondered if Snape would even be there. She hoped he would show. She wouldn't mind having a go at him. Enough years around her Auror uncles hadn't exactly made her lithe and cunning during a duel, but she had practiced enough to feel confident.

She found the door to the classroom closed. Fina decided to forget being timid. She tore open the door.

The room was empty. No Snape. Fina relaxed a little. She set up her ingredients, lit a fire, hung her cauldron…and jumped a foot when the door banged open. Snape strode to the front of the room, lighting each torch along the way until the classroom was incandescent and stifling. He slammed his cauldron and books on the table and ignited a fire with his wand. Fina stared at him, trying hard to look indifferent. Anger clotted his eyes.

"The Polyjuice Potion."

"But I didn't bring a hair to…"

"BEGIN!" Snape shouted. Fina scanned her book and began to mix together the ingredients. Snape circled her desk as she worked.

"Since you fancy Transfiguration, you should be able to create this without any trouble," he sneered. Fina fought the urge to grab her wand. Instead, she concentrated on her ingredients. Lacefly wings need to be stirred, but which way? _'They come from Australia and the southern hemisphere flows clockwise.'_ She stirred the potion thirty-seven times. She flicked through a plant manual for fluxweed, calculated, went back to the book, corrected the math, and added a bit to her scales. Soon, she had but one step left: add the hair of whomever she wanted to take the visage of. She hesitated. _'I don't have a hair for the potion.'_

"There are two of us in this room, Hawkins. Use one." She looked at him in surprise. _'Did he just answer the question I didn't ask?' _ Snape continued to frown at her.

"Could you…"

"I'm not about to do your work for you," Snape spat. Fina snatched up her paring knife. _'Steady, girl.'_ She reached out and pulled a dark lock of hair from Snape's temple. She hesitated.

"Something the matter, Hawkins? You look as if you don't want to become a friendless freak." Fina glared at the knife. There was no way she was as mean as Sirius. She felt the scrap of hair fall into her hands. Snape watched her add it to the Polyjuice potion.

"It will have to sit for a few days."

"Look, Severus, I…"

"Take care of the potion, Hawkins. Hate to see all your clockwise stirring go to waste." Fina snorted.

"You noticed that?"

"I noticed my efforts haven't been completely for nothing." Fina took care of the potion and disassembled her lab. Snape was still there when she was ready to leave. A bizarre idea crossed her mind.

"Feel up to a walk after supper, Severus? He jerked his head up from his book.

"You must be joking." She felt something stir briefly behind her eyes. _'So, that's his story.'_

"Castle fever. Just once around the courtyard. If you don't want to, don't. "Fina left before Snape could say anything more. She walked into the deserted Ravenclaw common room, tossed her bag and books in a chair and went upstairs to her bed. The gifts from her father lay unopened. She sat on her trunk and ran her hands over her face. What had she just done? _'I've become less like Potter and Black, that's what.'_

Fina found her appetite in pedigree form at supper. She cleared her plate with room for seconds on dessert. During forkfuls, she scanned the faces at the one long table everyone sat at. Snape was not among them.

Fina tossed her scarf over her shoulder and left the Great Hall. The arched veranda that wrapped around the courtyard cast scallops of light on the snow. The torches burned low. Everyone else was eating. _'Even if he doesn't show,'_ she thought, _'it's still a decent way to end the day.'_

"I can't believe you want to walk out here. It's frigid." Snape pulled away from a pillar.

"Anyone who's a skilled Legilimens can make himself warmer," Fina said. Snape's stride never missed a beat.

"I thought I smelled Aurors." Fina was glad he wasn't trying to find out who the Aurors were. Her uncles' occupations depended on complete confidentiality and she had no formal training in Occulemency. Snape kept his head down, hands in the pockets of his robe.

"Do you always stay here during holiday?" Snape shrugged.

"Beats packing and unpacking."

"Doesn't your family miss you?"

"Does yours?" So much for the direct approach. The guy could use Ligilimency. It was a good bet he knew how to use Occulemency also. He had practically trained himself to keep people out. They walked a lap around the courtyard. Fina started to head inside.

"You dragged us out here. It seems stupid to just walk it once," Snape said.

"I'm game if you are." They copied their previous footsteps.

"I'm surprised you're not with your boyfriend."

"Excuse me?"

"He must be heartbroken," Snape sneered.

"You want to clue me in on this?"

"Black."

"Not bloody likely. He's an annoyance, not an acquaintance."

"I don't see the difference between him and your friend Evans. They're both irritating." Fina frowned at the sidewalk, where the snow chalked the hems of their robes,

"Lily's the closest thing to family I've ever had. She's kin. Sirius is not." He noticed her tone bordered on the arctic and abandoned the subject.

"If you hate Black so much, why sit in close quarters with him and his fan club?"

"I don't. They come to us. Lily and I find it's easier to just let them hang around than drive them away. Don't get me wrong-they're a bunch of gits. If it wasn't for Remus, I'd write the lot of 'em off."

"Lupin garners an exception?" Fina stared up at the moon.

"He doesn't harass people like James and Sirius. Even Peter laughs with them. Remus isn't cruel." Snape frowned.

"Apathy is the same as harassment." Fina stopped walking.

"And that's why I wanted to apologize. I can't act as if I didn't say anything at breakfast. I was angry at someone else and took it out on you." Snape grunted, shifting his weight. He looked uncomfortable.

"I don't relish telling Lily I've started tutoring without her. She's quite brilliant at Potions." Snape snorted.

"Mediocre at best." Fina rolled her eyes.

"I take back that apology."

"Good." They finished their walk and entered the castle. The Great Hall was empty. Snape stopped before the hall to the Ravenclaw dorm. He dug into his robes.

"Here." He handed Fina a plain notebook. She opened it.

"Severus, are these your Potions notes?"

"It's a copy for your reference." Fina then realized why he wasn't at supper.

"How long did this take?"

"Does it matter?" Fina closed the notebook.

"Thank you." Snape nodded.

"I don't have anything for you."

"This isn't a gift exchange, Hawkins."

"Oh."

"Goodnight."

" 'Night." He left, his robe a whirling black curtain in the growing dark. Fina returned to the Common Room. She pulled a massive tome titled "Uncommon Spells for Unusual Circumstances" into her lap and flipped to the index. Next session, she would have a special request ready for Severus. Hopefully, he wouldn't try to find out the reason behind it. The explanation was worth an Unbreakable Vow.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

The Serpent and the Raven

"Why were you with that Ravenclaw girl all through the holiday?" Belatrix Lastrange slid her eyes over to Snape.

"She was stuck here at the same cold, smelly castle I was," Snape grumbled, his gaze locked on St. Phinister's Fungus of the Ages, "we passed each other a few times."

"Gretta said she saw you with her in the Potions classroom."

"She needed a tutor. I acquiesced."

"And Gretta saw you give her a gift on Christmas."

"My potions notes," Snape tilted his head slightly and his greasy bangs parted, "I gave her a copy to study from. Hardly a gift." Belatrix perched her curvy self on the edge of the library desk, half an inch from Snape's book. His personal space was being compromised. She grinned as he flinched.

"She's a friend of Potter's, you know."

"She's a friend of that Mudblood Evans. She hates the Marauders."

"They're all the same," Belatrix tossed her head, "Potter. Evans. Gryffindor. Ravenclaw. They're the favored. We are the obstacles. We are the ones they are supposed to crush into the dust."

"Very melodramatic, Bel."

"Just don't forget that there was a reason the Sorting Hat put us in the House of Slythern, Sev. We aren't here to win friends and Quidditch Cups. Salazar Slythern meant us to outlast all of that. When the books are written," she hissed, "who's going to remember the Lupins and Pettigrews and Potters? Those Quaffle-tossing morons will be washing mugs in the Leaky Cauldron while we rewrite history."

"You're monologging again." Belatrix answered by pulling up her sleeve. Snape glimpsed the flash of seared skin and snatched her wrist, pulling the sleeve of her robe over the scar. Belatrix chuckled.

"Still the skulking coward, Severus. You carry His mark, but can't summon the rocks to admit it."

"We were told to be inconspicuous, Bel."

"Subtle, sure," she jabbed a pale finger into his arm, "but devoted nonetheless." Snape felt ears coming from the books. His robe began to ripen with paranoia. He slammed his Fungus of the Ages closed and stood, tucking the book under his arm.

"Where are you going?"

"To the Owlry. I can stand their noise more than yours."

"Cram it with Bludgers, Severus."

"Can stand the smell better, too." Belatrix growled, but Snape wove through the shelves and exited the library before she could say another word. He almost dropped his book in his rush and paused to grip it with his moist fingers.

"Pesky bitch." His fingers raked the cover of the book, leather shavings marking a trail after him. He strode past the Great Hall and threw his scarf over his throat as he stepped out of the hall and into the January evening. Snow conquered the grounds. The sky looked injured, turning purple to black as the stars scabbed over the night.

Snape slowed his pace. He became aware of footsteps on the grounds close by. The last thing he wanted was human interaction. He blocked his mind with Occulemency and veered right, his target a naked oak by the West Hall. He reached the tree just as the clouds slouched away from the moon. From the light came Fina Hawkins.

She passed the oak, absorbed in a letter. The plain envelope, an empty casket, was pinched between two fingers. She walked against the wind, a blue and silver scarf wagging like a tongue at him. Fina stopped walking. She cast a cold blue shadow. The letter wavered in her hand as her eyes climbed the sky. Severus leaned out from behind the oak. Suddenly, Fina crushed the letter and envelope into a ball, hurled it to the snow-packed ground and drew her wand. A hot curse was on her lips. Snape could almost hear it burn in her mind. He waited. Clouds streamed past. Fina dropped her arm. She pocketed her wand, then crouched on the balls of her feet. Snape waited for her to move. She wove her fingers through her hair and shut her eyes. She wasn't going anywhere for a while. _'May as well get this over with.'_ He stopped just shy of the crumpled letter. The wind tumbled the ball a few feet away from him.

"Cheers, Severus." He was fairly sure she didn't know Legilimency. He smelled something ripe on he wind.

"My robe gave me away, did it?"

" The cold sharpens the smell." Fina removed her fingers from her temples and stood.

"What brings you out in the cold?"

"Someone irritated me in the library, so I left." Fina crossed her arms over her chest.

"Family issues."

"I'll leave you be, then."

"A distraction would be welcome, if it's all the same to you." Her face was strained with despair. Snape couldn't feign concern, but he wasn't about to ignore her. He pointed at the Owlry with his book.

"I'm heading up there to study. You can come along if you'd like."

"Lead on."

"And when I say 'study', I don't mean 'talk about the weather or class or any other topic' just to fill up the silence. Are we straight on that?" _'As straight as the rod up your arse.' _

"Yes." They walked across the grounds a few yards before Fina turned, aimed her wand and said "Ignitous!" The ball of paper flared, then shriveled into winking embers.

Snape opened the door and waited for Fina to pass. She walked over to an owl she seemed familiar with, letting it crawl up her arm. Snape leaned against a pillar that bore a torch and opened his book. He was halfway through a page when Fina's companion let out a screech.

"Fraglen, be quiet. Sorry," she nudged the owl back onto his perch, "he's so spoiled. It's all attention or nothing for him. Lily's ruined him." Snape gave her a brief glance from his book.

"Study. Right." She placed a finger over her lips and walked to one of the gothic-arched windows. The moonlight captured her figure. Talk wasn't the only distraction for him here. Snape closed the book and propped it against the wall. So much for studying.

"I was being quiet."

"For the most part. Is your father an Auror?" She turned from the window.

"No. Why?"

"I've heard you're a tough one to beat in a duel." Fina smiled. News was always fresh and plentiful at Hogwarts.

"What does that have to do with Aurors?"

"You use some complex curses. They don't teach the Conjunctivitus Curse until year seven and you were pulling it off in your second year."

"It was a fluke."

"And the Incarcerous Curse?"

"Oh, that was intentional. Remus kept firing hexes off one after the other. It was all I could do to keep up, so I tied him up with the Incarcerous Curse."

"You'll defend Lupin, yet you don't have any qualms about blasting him with a seventh year spell? Commendable."

"I don't hold any crime that his friends commit against Remus. He's open about his disapproval of James and Sirius's pranks. He doesn't hide things. "

"That's an interesting concept."

"What do you mean by that…" Fina felt a presence in her mind like fingers tickling her behind her eyes, "No trespassers, Severus. If you have a question, ask it."

"I wasn't using Legilimency." He froze, then pressed his slender fingers above his eyes, "someone is, though. Clear your mind of everything." Fina found that next to impossible. She focused on the dirty floor of the Owlry. Snape let out a sigh.

"Gone."

"Do you know who…?" He shook his head.

"How would I know if they've seen something in my mind?"

"You would hear or see it, too." Fina relaxed. The figure of a werewolf never crossed her mind. Snape was still frowning. Not many people could use Legilimency and he was almost certain no other student knew how. Perhaps it was someone beyond the borders of Hogwarts.

"Hawkins, how much do you know about the Death Eaters?" A noise in the rafters arrested Fina's attention from Snape. They watched a swarm of owls swoop down, clicking their beaks, clearly irritated.

"Now what?" Fina muttered. She watched the conversation from bird to bird. Understanding loomed large in her eyes.

"Peeves is up there!" She grabbed Snape's arm and pulled him into the shadows behind a pillar.

"If he finds us," Snape whispered, "we're done." Owl feed rained down from above.

"Come out! Come out!" Peeves cackled, "I can smell the fear down here! Smells worse than the owl puddings!" _'Rotten bugger. Go away.'_ Snape thought. Peeves floated towards them. Something solid and pungent hit their pillar. Fina flinched. She felt Snape's hand on her shoulder. Her head bumped his chin but she didn't dare utter an apology. She could smell the frozen sweat on him.

"Are you hiding? Hiding in a room full of eyes?" Screeches erupted from the left. Dozens of owls streamed out of the Owlry. Feathers coated the roosts and the floor. Peeves stopped laughing long enough to hear a dog bark. The Gamekeeper was on his way to the Owlry.

"Sleep tight beasties!" Peeves shot up to the ceiling and disappeared. Snape and Fina didn't move. They waited to make sure Peeves was truly gone. The barking was growing louder.

"Hope he's gone, because we can't stay here any longer." They ran to the steps.

"Wait, Severus! Your book!" Fina snatched up the book, covered in feathers and other splatterings. Snape threw her a 'hurry it up' look and they descended the stairs two at a time. As they scrambled out of the tower, they could see a bobbing lamplight come over the snowy grounds.

"Nowhere to hide," Snape muttered. Fina turned a full circle, then began to run to the forest.

"Hey, wait!" Snape hissed. They ducked behind a boulder at the edges of the Forbidden Forest. The Gamekeeper passed them, dog at his heels.

"Now what?"

"Now we go into the forest."

"Not a chance."

"It's the fastest way back to Hogwarts."

"Yes, by way of a coffin." Fina marched into the Forbidden Forest. Snape drew his wand and followed.

"You're mad."

"Help me find a tree."

"You've surpassed madness and have achieved complete lunacy." Fina brushed her fingers over a passing tree.

"Find the one with a silver vine growing on it. " Snape uttered a quick "Lumous" and his wand made monsters of the shadows. They were only a few steps away from the tree with the silver vines.

"Now where is that lever…" Fina scraped her fingertips over the vines until she found one that had some slack. She pulled and the tree moaned, splitting an arc into the trunk. Fina pushed the bark-encrusted door open.

"In we go." They stepped into the tree. Fina pulled the door closed tight and illuminated her own wand. They walked down the mud packed steps into a cool dirt tunnel.

"We're under the Forbidden Forest?"

"Yes."

"And your father is not an Auror?"

"The Ministry has nothing to do with these tunnels."

"So there's more than one of these secret passages back into the school?" Fina winced.

"I didn't say that."

"How did you find them?"

"Another fluke. I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone else about the tunnel."

"Consider it our secret, then." They walked through the dim light for several minutes. Fina paused at a tri-fork in the tunnel, chose the left passage and quickened her pace. The tunnel started to slope upward. Snape almost ran into the back of Fina. She had stopped to search the dirt wall before her.

"Can't they make the damn triggers easier to find?" A spring released and a line of light was drawn on the wall.

"I'll go out first," Fina whispered. She moved through the opening. Snape waited, tapping his knee with his book. Suddenly, Fina banged into him and sealed the wall.

"Get rid of the torch!" Snape felt his chin explode from where her hard head collided with him for the second time that night. Both wands winked out, plunging them into darkness.

"Have you considered using your head for building demolitions?"

"Quiet." Fina pressed a hand on his chest. They froze, catching the voices of Professor Dumbledore and Mistress Pomfrey in the hall.

"I'm glad to hear you're getting along in the Infirmary."

"Madam Ringworm is an excellent Head Nurse."

"Indeed she is."

"Professor," Pomfrey's voice grew tense, "has the other wand been sold yet?" Snape could almost see Dumbledore raise a finger to his lips.

"Not yet. Mr. Olivander tries it out here and there. He said he will send an owl the moment it finds an owner." The hand on Snape's chest pushed him gently away from the wall.

"We should find another route."

"They're almost past." She stumbled over his feet and he grabbed her before she fell. Dumbledore paused during his reply. They listened intently.

"Something wrong, Professor?"

"No, Mistress Pomfrey. It's getting late. Perhaps it is time we were all to bed?" Their footsteps faded away. Fina pushed the opening of the wall out. They surveyed the hall. Snape recognized the hallway. He wasn't far from the Slythern dorms.

"I'd better get back to the Common Room," Fina bent down and grabbed Fungus Through the Ages.

"Sorry you didn't get much studying done."

"It's for my own enjoyment, not for class," he confessed.

"So you barked at me for nothing. Fancy that."

"It's difficult to read when people insist on being distracted." Fina smiled and handed the book over.

"You're the most dedicated person I know, Severus. It irritates me to say it, but I admire that." Snape felt his face grow hot. A load of sparks dropped right into his gut. Fina was just an arms length away and it was extremely dark. How much would he suffer if he…no. Forget it. Knowing his luck, he'd be found out for snogging in the hallway and would never live it down, especially if Black, or worse Belatrix, found out. Better to bury it all, press his nose into a book and forget trying to be normal. He had had his turn with the Sorting Hat. Snape turned and walked away without a backward glance. He ignored the hurt eyes he could feel behind him. Belatrix's words fell in time with his footsteps: _"There was a reason the Sorting Hat put us in the House of Slythern…you carry His mark."_ He reached the painting to the Slythern Common Room.

"You stink like a Ravenclaw," the magus in the painting complained. Snape uttered the password in an icy whisper. The painting swung back.

"Salazar must be rolling in his grave."

"Oh, shut up."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Reckoning

The pressure of the coming N.E.W.T.S. poured over every sixth year student like a volcano at the ready. Fistfights broke out on a continual basis. Most sixth years sought relief outside the castle walls. Equations and history dates of the last five years were left behind when James sat down beside Lily in the shade of a maple tree. Lily leaned away from James, her eyes on the lake. This was as good as it got for James. At least she was staying put this time. Sirius and Peter dashed over the lawns to them, a book bouncing between them. Remus, still pouring over his notebook, trailed leisurely after them.

"What have they got?" Sweet Merlin, she was asking him a question! James squinted.

"Looks like a Potions notebook." Lily sighed.

"_He'll_ be out here next. Just as they want."

"It's just a bit of fun. Snivilus takes life too seriously."

"Oy! James!" Sirius tossed the notebook to James. Lily scoffed as the two threw themselves onto the grass.

"Greetings, Lil."

"Up to no good already, Sirius?" Peter wheezed a laugh.

"I think it's appalling the way you three pick on Severus."

"It's not our fault he's so rigid he has to stand up to take a shi…"Remus cut Peter off.

"Besides, Lily, this isn't Snape's notebook."

"Bullocks. It's his writing," James flicked through the pages, "I'd know that little worm's pen-scratching anywhere."

"Exactly! The plot thickens!" Sirius bellowed, a strange smile twisting his face, "for who, besides us, of course, would have Snape's notebook?"

"Quiet, Sirius!" Peter squeaked, "Here she comes!" Lily watched Fina march up the hill, her dark brows creating an angry "V" over her eyes. Lily stood as Fina strode up to Sirius and planted herself a few inches from his nose.

"I'll ask only once. May I have my notebook back?" Sirius coughed out a chuckle. Lily noticed Fina's hand flinch.

"But this isn't your handwriting, Fina. How could it be your noteb…" Fina's fist collided with Sirius's nose. James jumped up. Lily froze, half astounded, half amused. Remus closed his notebook.

"You punch like a girl," Sirius mumbled through his bloody nose. Fina reared back her fist. Lily caught her hand as Remus stood between them.

"Calm down, Fina. Sirius, give her the notebook." Sirius waved the book and threw it down on the lawn in front of Fina.

"Take this back to your Slythern boyfriend," he spat.

"He's not my boyfriend, so stop being such a git."

"Why _do_ you have Snape's notebook?" Lily asked. Fina appeared suddenly interested in the ground.

"I _don't_ have Snape's notebook."

"Then what's that on the ground?" Sirius shouted. Fina stayed silent.

"Did he give you his blessed Potions notes, hoping you'd sleep with them under your pillow?"

"That's enough, Sirius," Lily warned.

"Bet he's cold as a dead fish, isn't he, Fina?" Fina lunged at Sirius. James and Lily struggled to hold her.

"You want to know why I have the notebook? Because he copied his notes and gave the duplicate book to me so I could study for the N.E.W.T.S.," Fina jerked her arms free of Lily and James, "and for the record-he may be cold, but I'd prefer his touch over yours, Sirius. At least Severus doesn't smell like a dog." She snatched up the notebook and stormed back to the castle. She heard Sirius yell something at her, but couldn't make it out. What did it matter? She was through trying to reason with that lot. If they wanted to make her a pariah, fine. She wouldn't be alone.

Three weeks earlier, Lily was in an empty Charms classroom with her. Fina had another crumpled letter in her fist. Lily was slowly braiding Fina's short, rebellious hair.

"Does your mother know?" Fina stared out the window. The sky matched her mood: iron colored and just as heavy.

"We can't find her. My uncles have tried everything." Lily combed a lock of hair back and tried to work it into the braid. It fell out before she could cross another strand over.

"Who's taking care of his estate?"

"Who knows? Not me."

"Is there anything I can do, love?" Fina felt tears rush to her eyes. She strangled them with her resolve.

"No, Lily. This will do."

"What were you thinking, Hawkins, when you dropped in the wolfsbane?"

"I wasn't. I'm sorry."

"Correct on both accounts," Snape shot back, "The instructions are in front of you. You've wasted both our time and supplies because you _WERE NOT CONCENTRATING_." Fina felt her eyes grow wet. She blinked furiously, ordering her eyes to stand down. She had to learn the Wolfsbane Potion.

"Start again," Snape emptied the cauldron. Fina scanned the first two sentences. She picked up her knife. Her hand was shaking. The words on the page were growing blurry. She tried to put her mind on her work. She chopped, poured and measured. The bee stings in her chest wouldn't evacuate. The void inside her offered up water that rolled down under her chin. It dampened the book.

"What is it, Hawkins?" He sounded irritated. She was grateful for that much.

"Chopped my finger."

"You're a pathetic liar." Snape rounded the table. Fire in her brain bloomed through her eyes. She couldn't stand being stone anymore.

"My father died yesterday." The only sound in the room was the metal clack of the scales. Fina pinched some of the wolfsbane away from the scale. _'Please, __please__ don't say you're sorry for my loss. Don't say I should be at home. Don't say anything…'_

"Add the wolfsbane." She obliged. The cauldron steamed. Snape returned to his equipment. She bottled the potion and packed up, eager to leave.

"Hawkins?" _Oh, bloody hell. Here it comes._

"Yeah?"

"Close the door on your way out." And again, she obliged.

"Sorry about your Dad," Sirius sat down beside Fina.

"Thanks, mate."

"Bet McGonagall would let you pass your exams if you…"

"Tacky, Peter," Lily murmured. She nudged Fina, "how was your tutoring session?"

"Talk about insult to injury. You had to hang around Smelevus," Sirius blanched. Peter chuckled. Lily lowered her head.

"Does Snape know?" Fina nodded.

"He didn't say anything, did he?"

"No."

"That's a shame. Would've given me a reason to dent his face in." Lily gave Sirius a warning look. Fina stood up.

"I've got to hit the books, Lil. I'll see you later." Sirius watched her leave.

"Lot of sorrow in that one."

"She needs time," Lily sighed, "and a little less of you two."

"Hello, what have we here?" Sirius picked up a notebook.

"Must be Fina's," Peter picked his nose.

"Gross, Pettigrew," Lily made a face and held her hand out, "I'll give it to her, Sirius."

"And ruin my perfect opportunity? Bugger that!"

"She doesn't need you aggravating her, Sirius."

"She's vulnerable, Lil. I'm just providing some friendly comfort." He grinned and jogged off. Lily frowned.

_'I don't think you're capable of comforting her, chuck.'_

Fina had selected the biggest tomes in the library and stacked them up into an impressive tower on either side of her head. She pulled out her parchment, ink bottle and quills. _'Where is that damn Potions notebook?' _She shuffled through her bag, furious at Sirius, furious at her mother, furious at herself. _'He tried. That was more than what She did. I could have written him back at least once. Two witches in the house couldn't have been easy.'_

Something dropped onto the table, making the columns around her shudder. She leaned out from behind them.

Snape propped a book up in front of his own mammoth stack of books. He gave her a brief glance, then began to devour his book page by page. Fina stared at her blank parchment and then at her Ancient Runes notes. The N.E.W.T.S. were four weeks away. She needed to study. But her mind couldn't rustle up a single thought. She felt like an empty paper cup that rolled the same arc back and forth, getting nowhere. She had nowhere to go now. In the middle of all this magic, the real world had come toppling down around her. In a couple of days, her Dad's living room would be crammed with Muggles from his workplace and from around the neighborhood and the odd wizard from her mother's family. She would stand by a scary-looking gelatin dish and greet people whose names all ran together and whose intentions, though sweet, were pointless.

Snape turned a page. Madam Pince could be heard stamping books. Fina glared at her essay. Just her name and date were scratched on the parchment. She put away her quill and ink, the Ancient Runes book went back into the bag. In their place she uncovered and prepared her box of charcoals. She rolled her parchment back a little. _'Give me one more chance, Dad, to apologize.'_ It was slow going at first. She hadn't seen him for a while. He had eyes that were weary and lined like a rumpled bed sheet, a dark shadow cast by his imposing nose, but a gentle chin that curved up a little. It still didn't look right. She tore off the parchment and started again, but this time put him in his favorite chair. He was looking down, spectacles on the edge of his nose. She shaded out a child in his lap, settled into the crook of his arm, legs everywhere. She had on that ridiculous sundress that she wore even in the winter. In his free hand he held a book. He was always reading to her, even after he found out about Hogwarts, even after he had heard the term 'Muggle'. She cast a light from the east on the picture. Now she remembered him. She tapped the parchment with her wand and uttered "fixatio." The sketch wouldn't smudge now.

Fina returned everything to her bag and pushed the chair away. A heavy dose of sleep was in order.

"Night, Severus." Snape closed his book and stood.

"I didn't know." Fina dropped the lids over her eyes.

"Why should that stop you from being a jerk?"

"I never said it should. " Fina walked away. Snape bent down and snatched up a loose piece of parchment that she had left in her wake.

"Hawkins?"

"What?" He waved the parchment.

"You left something behind." Fina was horrified when he handed over her sketch. She had almost lost it! Was she completely hopeless? She stared at the man who was once her father.

"Sometimes, I'd get so frustrated with Dad for just existing and wished he would disappear. I never thought it would actually happen." Her bag slid from her shoulder and dangled in her hand, "I don't have anywhere to go now."

"I thought you said you had family."

" Uncles, sure," she felt her eyes hit high tide, "but it doesn't change anything."  
"So you're letting it conquer you, is that it?" She was surprised at how frustrated Snape sounded.

"Cut me some slack, mate. My Dad _did_ just check out." He almost smiled.

"That's better."

"Wanker." Snape stepped closer to her. Fina thought perhaps she had crossed the line. His hand suddenly went to her shoulder and stayed there.

"You're stronger than this." She was rigid in shock. Praise from Severus Snape? Was this some huge cosmic joke? _'Solace comes in all forms, dear. Just put your arms around him.'_ Fina felt itchy wool. She took shelter on his shoulder. He hesitated only a moment, then embraced her like a rigid statue. He grew less awkward the longer she stayed with him.

Neither of them noticed Sirius, a Potions notebook in his hand, watching from behind a shelf.

"Oy, greaseball!" Snape continued across the west lawns. There was no point indulging these idiots. He heard feet pounding the ground in a run.

"Did the wax from your hair seep into your ears?" Sirius stepped in front of Snape, "I just called to you."

"I'm in no mood for one of your monosyllabic discussions, Black. Out of my way." Sirius didn't move. Peter watched from behind Sirius, flicking his eager eyes from one to the other.

"Not a chance, Sniverus. I have something to discuss with you."

"Not interested." Snape side stepped Sirius, but was blocked by James.

"You seem to be, though, and that's the problem."

"Have you consumed a Babbling Beverage? I haven't the slightest clue as to what you're alluding to."

"Fina Hawkins." Snape raised an unamused eyebrow.

"What about her?"

"Spending an awful lot of time with her, aren't you?"

"I'm tutoring her in Potions at Professor Dumbledore's request."

"Seems to me you're working overtime," Sirius leaned forward and whispered, "in the library yesterday." Snape's face remained a pale shade of winter. Sirius flexed his hands into fists

"What was it you said to her?"

"It was a private conversation. I don't need to provide a transcript to you," Snape growled.

"Sirius said she was upset," James frowned, "I don't suppose your 'sunny disposition' had anything to do with it?"

"Again, Potter, it's none of your business."

"It becomes our business when you try to go after someone who's out of your league."

"That's pretty hypocritical, Potter. I'm not like you-who stalks a certain someone regardless of the fact that she despises you."

"You know what's happened to her Dad," Sirius said, "Must have been pretty tempting to take advantage of her vulnerability."

"You really don't know her, do you?" Sirius's face lost all of its humor.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Peter squeaked.

"She's far from vulnerable. If you can't see that, Black, then you're wasting my time." Sirius drew his wand and Snape, casting his books aside, brandished his own. Sirius shouted a shock spell, but Snape dodged it with little effort. He counter-cursed, causing Sirius to lose all feeling in his arm. James and Peter took out their wands. Sirius waved them back. He wouldn't lose to this Slythern slug-sucker. Sirius started to chant fire from his wand.

"_Terra Leviosa!"_ Snape shouted. The ground rumbled. A chunk of earth crumbled and rose from the grassy lawn. He heaved it at Sirius, who rolled away in time. The ground suddenly sank beneath Sirius's feet and closed over his ankles. Snape stood above him, a faint smirk on his lips.

"I could push you into the ground with a thought, Black. If you'd prefer not to be buried alive, don't _ever_ approach me again." James raised his wand, but someone snatched it out of his hand. Remus Lupin nodded to the castle.

"Professor McGonagall's on her way out here. We should leave." Snape gathered his books and headed for the castle.

Lily knocked on the Ravenclaw painting. The aviary caretaker in the picture shushed her. A second year girl answered the knock.

"Is Fina Hawkins in?"

"Yes…" the girl seemed unsure. Lily smiled.

"Please tell her Lily Evans is here. I'll wait."

"No need," Fina pushed the door open behind the girl, "I've got it, Mara. Come on in, Lil." They traveled past the vacant Common Room to the sixth year tower. Finals were over and most students were rewarding themselves in the gorgeous May weather.

"Congratulations on your Transfig "E"." Fina knelt by her trunk and lifted a few books into it.

"Thanks. I meant to tell you yesterday, but I've been busy getting everything together for my move to Uncle Markle's." Lily sat on the bed.

"What's the address?"

"He's got a phone. I'll give you his number."

"Likes to try the latest technology, does he?" Fina cracked a smile.

"Shut up."

"That's original."

"How's Sirius's nose?"

"Swollen, but not broken."

"I shouldn't have let him get to me like that."

"Well, you do have a bit of a temper," Lily chided in a mock-mother tone of voice," but he shouldn't have said those things." She fiddled with her scarf.

"Do you really fancy him, Fina?  
"Who, Sirius?"

"No." Lily mouthed the word 'Snape'.

"I don't know. He's infuriating. Anti-social. Way too involved in his studies."

"Has a complexion like the belly of a fish…"

"I'm sorry, did you just say you wanted a smack upside the head?"

"Fina, he's not your type. He's not _anybody's_ type."

"He doesn't pry, Lil. And he's got more drive than anyone I know." Fina heard Snape's voice in her mind: _'You're stronger than this.' _She raised her chin a little higher.

"Have you kissed him yet?" Fina's eyes became white, incredulous saucers. Lily had a cheeky grin on her face.

"I'm not going to dignify that with a response."

"Just answer the question, Hawkins."

"No, I haven't. "

"But you want to, right?"

"Yeah, just like you want to seal the deal with James Potter."

"You. Take. That. Back," Lily whispered. Fina closed the lid on her trunk.

"Lily, give it up. Everyone knows. You may as well let him take you to dinner and be done with it." Lily jumped up from the bed and stalked out of the tower. A moment later, she stuck her head back in.

"I can't believe you'd imply something like that!" Lily left the room. Fina sat down on her trunk and dropped her chin into her hands.

"I'd rather eat every vomit flavored bean Bertie Bots ever made than breathe the same air as Potter!" Fina heard footsteps stomp away from the door. She waited.

"The very idea of me fancying Potter is…"

"Lily!" Fina shouted, "if you don't shut it, I'm going to tell Peeves that you're in love with James and let the whole school hear it that way!" Lily didn't make a fourth appearance.

Two weeks later, Fina was whisking her arm under the bed to make sure she hadn't left anything unpacked. She checked her pocket. She only had fifteen minutes to find Severus, give him her uncle's address and perhaps work up the courage to do something rather shocking before the Hogwarts Express rolled on out.

"Fina?" Mara tapped on the door.

"Yes?"

"Professor Dumbledore said he'd like a word before you leave."

"Right-o," Fina brushed past Mara and headed for Dumbledore's office, hoping to catch Snape on the way. No such luck. She knocked on the already open door.

"Come in, Fina. This won't take long." Remus Lupin stood as she entered.

"Hi, Remus. Everything alright?"

"So far." He still didn't like talking about it.

"I have a dose with me," she handed him a vial of Wolfsbane Potion.

"Thanks, mate." Fina and Remus sat before Dumbledore. He left the confines of his desk and leaned against the front of it.

"I will be brief, as the Hogwarts Express is no doubt nearing the station. I hope I wasn't being intrusive to either of you. In the past, to bear something as difficult as an involuntary transfiguration was to be alone." Remus and Fina exchanged a glance.

"No complaints here," Fina grinned at Remus. He flushed, but smiled back.

"You now have some difficult choices to make in the coming months. Decisions that will relate to your seventh year, your career path, or the next Chocolate Frog you buy. Both of you harbor a secret life and, when the time comes, you will have to decide how much of a part it will play in the rest of your life." Remus frowned.

"I'll never let the wolf take me completely."

"What would happen if you did?" Fina asked.

"I would remain a feral human, vicious and wild. I would lose my memories and my ability to speak. Every full moon, I would revert until one month, I wouldn't change back." Fina's blood got a little chilly. _'If it takes you completely, you wouldn't change back.'_

"So, some of the wolves out there were once human?" Remus nodded. Fina stared at Dumbledore with a look that said 'why was I never told this?'

"It's a matter of balance, Fina. You take away one half and the other dominates. It all comes down to you. I would only advise that whatever decision you make, have absolutely no regrets." A distant whistle slid in on the breeze.

"Our time is up. Don't dwell on this too much. Enjoy your summer." Dumbledore saw them out. Remus folded his arms behind his head.

"What I wouldn't give for a 'Stupify' to the head right now," Fina sighed, "My brain's ready to bust."

"Happy to oblige," Remus motioned to grab his wand. Fina shoved him away.

"It was a joke, Mooney." She felt the folded note in her pocket. She wasn't going to be able to get this to Snape before the train left. She handed it to Remus.

"My address is on there. Send me an owl if you have the time." Remus scanned the parchment.

"What's with the numbers? Some kind of code?"

"It's a phone number."

"What's a phone?"

"It's a Muggle…never mind. I'll explain it when you write to me." They walked into Hogsmede. The station was packed with students talking, exchanging notes and waving from the train. Lily lowered a window in one of the cars and called to her.

"Where have you been? I didn't think you were going to make it!"

"Last minute meeting, Lil. Save me a seat, will you? Gotta check on something."

"Hurry it up!" Lily shouted. Fina pushed through the throng, mist-swept from the locomotive steam. She searched the crowd for him. It was pointless. The Hogwarts Express whistled. A thousand snake hisses were released as the engine gathered forward momentum. Fina hopped on the steps and swept the platform a final time. _'Those stupid Muggle movies have it all wrong,'_ she thought bitterly, _'they never arrive as the train leaves the station.'_

And she was right.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

The Destruction

_ (Two years after graduation, the fall of 1979)_

"A toast to another grand year!" Frank Longbottom raised his glass.

"Here, here!" James and Sirius roared. Lily ran a hand over her small but expanding belly.

"To the newlyweds!" Alice Longbottom added, winking at Lily and James.

"To old friends!" Remus added.

"Yes," Fina softly agreed, "to old friends."

"Cheers!"

_(Summer of 1981)_

Frank and Alice Longbottom lay curled at her feet, unintelligible words working out of their mouths. Alice's eyes had rolled up and over, exposing grey, dehydrated veins. Frank's lips were ashen, yellow liquid waterfalling from his mouth to his shirt. Fina watched her Uncle Ewan gently wipe it away. A baby cried nearby. She had received the call from another Auror at her office in the Beast Division.

"Were you able to reach any relatives?" Fina took her eyes off the Longbottoms.

"Frank's mum. She'll be here to take Neville shortly."

"Too dangerous. She should stay put."

"I tried to tell her, uncle. She said she would have none of our bureaucratic bullsh…"

"One of those, huh?" Uncle Ewin's grin was forced. He liked everything to go by the book. Lately, that wasn't happening very often.

"Anything confirmed yet?"

"Nothing can be ruled out at this point. Dark magic all over the place. And these marks on Alice and Frank are a pretty good indication that a Cruciatus Curse was cast in here." Fina closed her eyes. An Unforgivable Curse had leveled two of the Ministry's best Aurors. She felt her temperature climb.

"I'd appreciate it if you kept this under your hat, kiddo. You're not even supposed to be in here."

"Consider my lips sealed." Fina ignored the admonishment.

"Ewan?" Another one of Fina's uncles stuck his head in the bedroom.

"Yeah, Theo?"

"You might want to come down here. Something you should see."

"I'll be right back, kiddo." Fina listened to her uncles' footsteps pound the stairs. She left Alice and Frank and pushed open the door to the next room. Her youngest uncle, Markle, had a fussy infant in his arms.

"It comes in waves. Quiet, then he bawls." Fina smoothed the dark down on the boy's head.

"I don't blame him. I'd be upset, too."

"What's his name, Fina?"

"Neville."

"No wonder he's upset."

"Rope it in, uncle." She touched Neville's toes to her nose.

"Thanks for letting me know, Uncle Markle."

"Don't mention it. Ewan and Theo wouldn't understand Order business. Would you call on the Potters? Dumbledore's at the usual spot."

"Who wants dessert?" Alice brandished a pie knife. Lily raised her hand.

"Cut me a slice of that, Alice!" Sirius called from the sitting room.

"Just a cup of coffee'll do me," Remus replied.

"Fina?" She turned from the dark window to Alice.

"Make it two."

"James? Peter?"

"Just the pie," James grinned.

"Nothing, thanks all the same," Peter picked his teeth with a long, broad fingernail, "supper did me in." Lily accepted her plate as Alice launched into maternity mode. Two expecting mothers relished nothing more than exchanging notes. Sirius, James and Frank were discussing a Ministry ban on hexed motorcycles. Peter listened in. Fina turned back to the window. Social jabbering was not her preference tonight.

"Coffee?" Fina clutched the cup Remus handed her. His reflection in the window doubled: two panes, two Remuses.

"Any recent news from Dumbledore?" he asked.

"This isn't the place to discuss Order business." She glanced at Lily and Alice.

"They'll have to know sooner or later. Frankly, I'm not too keen on keeping them in the dark much longer."

"Don't step on his toes, Remus. Dumbledore has his reasons for not worrying them. The last thing we need is to panic our mothers-to-be into a stillbirth."

"Feeling particularly dark tonight, aren't you?" Fina glared over her cup.

"She's been trying for this baby for three years. I'm not about to let anything happen to her now." Remus sipped his coffee.

"Any hot flashes recently?"

"How should I know? Go ask Lily yourself."

"I was referring to you, you git."

"They're called _flares_, Remus." He grinned sheepishly at her goaded expression, "and yes, a few. Just stress-related, that's all." Remus shifted the conversation.

"I hear you're blowing them away at the Ministry."

"I wouldn't go that far," she stole a smile, "but we're making progress for the Werewolf Support Services. You're still off record, just so you know."

"Shouldn't take long to change that, the way things are going. My sire is in league with You-Know-Who. He could easily reveal what I am."

"We all can be blackmailed, Remus."

"Half the Order doesn't know what I am."

"If they find out, I doubt they'd send you to the curb. Besides, I'll keep you in Wolfsbane." He touched her arm.

"Thanks, Fina."

"Don't get weepy on me, Mooney. We're in this together." Remus relaxed onto a nearby ottoman.

"How's your family's search for the Death Eaters going?"

"Not good," Fina sighed, "they're elusive as hell. Uncle Markle has to keep Uncle Ewan from blowing his stack every time a lead dries up."

"He's a good man, Ewan. They all are."

"Too bad Ewan just treats it as a job. Theo's too spineless to care. Markle's the only one who knows the Death Eaters are more than a group of fanatics. It's a revolution."

"Their efforts are reaping us Death Eaters, though," Remus pointed out. Fina tipped her cup up to her lips.

"Leads are coming in all the time. Barty Crouch is almost drowning in the number of dropped names. It's keeping the Investigations Unit busy," she paused, "Last time, Severus's name came up." Remus watched her stare into her coffee.

"I heard about that."

"Crouch dismissed the accusation. Dumbledore spoke up in Severus's defense."

"Nothing to dwell on, then." Fina showed no emotion, but the keen nose of the wolf in Remus smelled the sadness on her.

"Still haven't been able to contact him?"

"No."

"When was the last…"

"Right before graduation."

"That day at the Hog's Head?"

"That would be it." Remus recalled that day. He thought about it quite often. That was the day the Prophesy was made.

James felt Lily rocking his shoulder. He stirred from the fog of sleep.

"James! Someone is at the door." Lily disembarked the bed. He fumbled for his glasses and slippers. He heard Lily bend over Harry's crib. The pounding on the door became more rapid. James grabbed his wand. He watched Lily conceal hers. Good girl.

"Stay behind me, Lil. Keep Harry quiet." He reached the spyglass. A breath escaped him. Lily watched his shoulders relax.

"It's Fina. What the hell is she doing here at three-bloody-o-clock in the morning?" James opened the door. Fina's eyes swept them, as if for reassurance. She ran a hand through her wind-tangled hair.

"Morning, James, Lil. May I come in?"

"A little early for a chat, Fina," James scratched the stubble that blanketed his chin.

"Something has happened." Lily nudged James aside. She could see the fallen brethren in Fina's eyes.

"Come on. Sit down in the kitchen. Tea?"

"No, thanks." Fina walked in and parked herself at the table. Lily leaned against the counter, Harry snoozing peacefully in her arms. James pulled up a chair beside his wife. Fina washed a hand over her face.

"I wanted you two to know before the Daily Prophet twists this every way but right," she met Lily's eyes, "Frank and Alice were attacked tonight."

"Oh, God."

"Are they…" Fina shook her head.

"The Aurors on the scene believe a Cruciatus Curse was cast."

"Merlin's beard," James whispered. Lily's hand fell onto his shoulder. He attended to it with his own.

"Is Neville alright?" Lily asked.

"Yes. He's in a safe place."

"What will happen to Frank and Alice?"

"Time will reveal. Right now, they're catatonic at St. Mungo's under heavy guard," she lowered her voice, "they've been tortured beyond what I can imagine. No one's seen a Cruciatus case this bad. No one's certain they'll ever recover." James gripped his chair to keep himself from throwing it at the wall. Frank. Alice. What did they do to deserve this?

"Who did this, Fina?"

"My uncles are working on it, James. For now, they have to attend to the Longbottoms. Believe me," she raised her chin, "I won't let this rest easy. Frank and Alice were good to all of us." The clock in the sitting room ticked. Lily pat her baby's soft thigh. Fina stood.

"We should get going. They're waiting for us."

"Who is?"

"Not here. It's not secure. I'll tell you on the way."

"Who'll watch Harry?"

"He's coming with us. This involves him, too."

"Give us a few minutes," James got up from the chair. Lily handed Harry over to Fina, still in shock over the Longbottoms. Neither had argued with her. For that, she was thankful. This night had been much too taxing already and it was about to get longer. She swept the fan of black bangs away from Harry's eyes. Eyes green as pine. Just like Lily's.

"Harry, did you just make a drop-off in your diaper?" Fina sniffed, "Yup. Well, since you bestowed this on me, I'll do you one better. Auntie Fina is going to tell you a story about a rogue Death Eater." She set the child on the counter and proceeded to change his diaper.

Fina had hung up her graduation robes, pressed and ready two weeks ahead of the big day, on a hook near her bed. She checked her watch for the three-millionth time that day. Quarter to one. Close enough. She nabbed her sweater vest, pulled it over her head, and for once, neglected to make a face in the mirror. Snape had invited her to the Owlry to talk about something. Nothing else in the world was worth her attention.

They were hardly friends, as she would like to think of the word. They never sat together in the Great Hall. Their tutoring sessions had finished last year and, although Fina had gotten a better than average mark in Potions, she had selected Transfiguration and Defense Against the Dark Arts as her areas of concentration for her final year at Hogwarts. Snape was locked in the Potions dungeon practically every evening. The library would find them nodding at each other in the search for a much needed book. A couple times during the school year caught them walking back from Hogsmede together, a wand's length apart and quiet as a winter's night. Mostly, it was the looks from the other students that rendered them silent and oblivious to each other. And then, Severus had sent her a note. Now, she was a priority.

Fina crossed the lawns to the Owlry tower. She tried no to appear too anxious, reining her steps to a stroll. A figure lurked in the entrance of the tower. Only Severus could lurk.

"Hail, master Slythern."

"Right on time, Hawkins."

"Shall we head up?"

"No," Snape descended the steps, "I'm in the mood for a walk. Quiddich Field?"

"Sure." They headed to the deserted fields. Brown patches were scraped from the mixed greens, where players had skidded or crumpled or smashed into the ground. Snape ducked under one of the bleacher stands. Fina followed.

"So, what's on your mind?" He suddenly stepped into her personal space. One arm settled into the small of her back. The other gently flicked a strand of hair from her eyes.

"Just you." Every speck of blood ran an Olympic one hundred meters to her cheeks. Her sense of touch was heightened to the point of combustion. _'What the hell's gotten into him?'_ He bent slightly to approach her. His fingers shadowed her lips. _'Not that I'm complaining, of course. Breathe, my dear, breathe.'_ She inhaled. _'Wait a tick…'_ She pushed him away.

"Something the matter?"

"That's odd."

"Want to clue me in?"

"I just…" Something wasn't right at all. She heard the bleachers creak. All the warmth from the last few seconds dived into her feet. Someone else was there. Two arms grabbed Fina and slammed her against a beam. She scrambled for her wand. A meaty fist ripped it from her. She twisted and rolled out of their grasp, but Snape shot her with an Immobulous Spell. The other two Slytherns, who she recognized as Rodolphus and Avery, glanced at Snape, eager and ugly. He sneered.

"So, what gave me away?"

"Severus's robe always smells ripe. Who are you?"

"Are you going blind, Hawkins?"

"Perhaps, but my nose works just fine. You're not Severus. And you spilled Polyjuice Potion on your shirt." Snape glanced down at his sweater. He shrugged.

"I was hurried. But my sloppy work didn't stop you from coming out here. Your crush on Snape must be pretty intense." Fina chose to make a face. She had a couple of vulgar gestures to go with it had she been free to move.

"How much longer does that potion have?"

"Why? Uncomfortable with the idea that I could be a real jerk?"

"Don't compare him with you. He's nothing like you." The faux Snape gave her a dour look of pity. It made her want to puke on his shoes.

"You'd be surprised," he drew his wand, "how cruel he can be." He flicked a hex at her face. Blood slid down her cheek. She refused to entertain him and remained silent. Snape raised his hand again, then stumbled and dropped to his knees.

"Over already? I was rather enjoying this." The Polyjuice Potion drained out of the crouching Snape, making his hair longer, his hips wider and his voice higher. A chest that rivaled Madam Rosemerta's filled out his robe. Bellatrix got to her feet. She touched her forehead, relieved.

"Thank Merlin. If Snape runs out of parchment, he could use his bloody forehead for a slate."

"I thought I smelled something easy," Fina muttered. Bellatrix didn't seem offended. She jabbed her wand at Fina's throat and thrust her chin up.

"I heard your father's a Muggle."

"What makes you think that?"

"A little owl told me."

"Bullocks. There's no…" a thought crossed the road in Fina's brain, "oh, bugger. It was you using Legilimency on us in the Owlry last year."

"Thoughts of your father whorled in your Mudblood head."

"Makes attacking me seem justified, does it?" Bellatrix didn't bat an eye.

"That's right. One less Mudblood makes my life easier, theirs easier," she thumbed at Avery and Rodolphus, "and it makes Snape's life a hell of a lot easier."

"You don't sound credible enough to lay that load of rubbish on me, Bell."

"I don't spin lies this time. He's a Death Eater. Check out his left arm if you don't believe me."

"So you're letting me go?" Bellatrix flashed her a perfect white grin.

"I didn't say _that_. A ghost can still examine the living."

"Eat skewart dung, Bell. At least counter-curse me and have a real go."

"No thanks. Auror's tend to cheat."

"Now I _know_ you couldn't have seen that."

"No, not from you. Too bad Severus didn't have names or faces to go with that juicy tidbit. The Dark Lord doesn't like information on the half-order. People tend to lose half of their bodies if they don't give him the whole story."

"Yes, well," Fina yawned, "despite this lovely banter, I've got things to do." She whispered a charm and her wand twitched violently in Avery's hand. He tightened his grip. Bellatrix shot a Stupify spell at Fina, who summoned all of her concentration just to deflect it with a Protego charm.

"Lucky you were able to get up that shield charm."  
"I was trained by the best. Knowing I've been trained by Aurors makes you nervous, doesn't it, Bell?"

"Death Eaters have killed hundreds of Aurors," Bellatrix growled.

"Then you should have nothing to worry about. Release me."

"Come on, Bell," Rodolphus pulled out his wand, "she can't take us all." He removed the curse. Avery tossed Fina her wand, then sent a curse after it. Fina's reflexes were razor quality. She caught her wand and narrowly ducked the curse. It splintered the beam behind her. She delivered a hex of her own. Bellatrix swooped in front of Rodolphus and shouted, "Impedimenta!" Fina dived. She felt the jinx knick her heel. _'Too close.'_ She used a strong wind to pull Bellatrix's robe up over her head.

"Expelliarmous!" Bellatrix's wand ricocheted off a support beam. '_They may not have my Auror background, but these three are firing of some advanced spells.' _Fina crouched behind a beam. A fire jinx slammed into the wooden column, causing her entire body to vibrate. She grit her teeth. Another blast hit the beam and the wood began to whine and crack. She used a Terra Mobulous spell, snapping the ground like a rug and knocking all three Slytherns off their feet. Avery was the first to recover. He threw a handful of dirt in Fina's face. Temporarily blinded, she tried to smell out his location. Avery landed a curse in her gut. She rolled across the ground and banged into the scaffolding. She wiped the dirt from her eyes. _'Blind __me__, will you?'_

"LUMOS!" An angry blast of light stabbed the darkness under the bleachers. Fina shaded her eyes. She heard two Slytherns shout, then heard them collide. She ripped past the banner and tore across the Quiddich field. The sky was a sharp navy hue and smelled of rain.

"_Sectum sempra!"_ Hundreds of knife blades raked her flesh. She screamed. Her feet gave up and she smashed into the ground with her knees, then her chest. Blood soaked the grass. A laceration over her chest consumed her blouse and moved on to her vest. She made a feeble attempt to reach her wand. It lay a good foot away. _"Don't turn your back on an enemy. That is when they will use their most powerful spell," _Uncle Ewin's voice instructed her. Bellatrix took her time walking across the field.

"The Slytherns are first in the running this year. I'd hate to see the field disgraced with your blood before we can march around it with the Quiddich Cup." Fina felt her temperature fade like a spent candle. She lay on her stomach, hand still stretched out for her wand.

"Avada…" Bellatrix stopped her spell and suddenly shrieked. She left the ground flying and slammed into Avery and Rodolphus. Feet were pounding towards her.

"Fina! Oh, God…" Lily touched her face.

"Get Professor Dumbledore," a voice ordered, "Now!" Someone gently rolled her over. A damp, musty odor entered her nose.

"A little late, Severus."

"I know." He tucked an arm under her legs and wedged the other around her shoulders. He struggled to stand.

"Ever consider skipping dessert?"

"Ever consider," she let a wave of pain subside, "working out?" Snape didn't reply. He picked up his pace. Her head rolled to the side and she felt warmth through his shirt. A faint drum rumbled in her ear. So he _did_ have a heart. A few tears left her eyes and curled under her chin. They pooled onto her chest. Her breath returned. Her limbs felt tighter, her skin warmer. At least she knew now what she was capable of.

"Put me down. I can walk now."

"You're not that heavy."

" Severus, I'm not hurt as bad as you think."

"I saw the Sectum Sempra Bellatrix cast." Still, he slowed and then lowered Fina to her feet. She pressed a hand to her sticky shirt and undid a few buttons. Not one scratch. Snape tried not to stare.

"I know what I saw."

"Bell's a lousy shot." Professor Dumbledore, flanked by Lily, ran across the lawn. Lily shoved Snape aside.

"Why is she standing?" she turned to Fina, "are you okay?"

"A bit better now."

"Your shirt!" Lily pointed to the butterfly-shaped stain on her blouse. Fina opened her shirt again to display her flawless flesh.

"To the Infirmary, please. Just in case," Dumbledore dropped a wink so slight Fina hardly caught it. Snape escorted her to the castle.

"You should have seen her when we found her, Professor. I thought…," Lily pushed her voice over the bump in her throat, "with her injuries, I thought we were too late."

"She seems fine now, thanks to you and Severus."

"He was the one who found her. I saw him in the hallway and asked why he wasn't at the Owlry to meet Fina. Snape's pale to begin with, but he went the color of a snake's belly when I said that."

"Could I ask a favor of you, Lily?"

"Sure, Professor."

"Mention this to no one, if you'd be so kind." Lily gave Dumbledore a sideways glance.

"You have my word."

"Thank you. I want to insure this doesn't get announced to the school before the Headmaster has a chance to investigate."

"What's to investigate? We saw what happened and who attacked her." Dumbledore crested the steps and held the door for Lily.

"This incident is not isolated. Again, please keep this discreet. The last thing we need is James Potter getting word of this and spreading it around the school." Lily tossed her head in a huff.

"What makes you think I'd talk to that self-absorbed toad?" Dumbledore managed a straight face.

"My mistake entirely."

The next morning brought the rain Fina had smelled on the Quiddich field. Courtesy of Mistress Pomfrey, the hall to the Infirmary was silent, save only for a pair of scuffed loafers that tocked a path to the sick ward. Despite her injuries, the lone patient in the Infirmary was humming, a sketchpad propped up against her knees. Snape thought her voice raw and sonorous, like wind in a vast stone hall.

"You seem to have mended rather quickly."

"Nice to get a bit of time to myself. I should send Bellatrix a thank-you curse." A frown flickered on her face, only a moment, then she smiled.

""What brings you here?" Severus pulled up a chair. He set a bouquet of flowers on the bedside table.

"From your fan club," he clarified when she looked at him.

"Lily and the guys? That was dear of them." She read the card and snorted. Snape raised an eyebrow.

"They're taking me to the Hogshead for a pint as soon as I get out of here." She set the flowers aside.

"How did you know where to find me?"

"I found my potions collection out of order. The Polyjuice was missing."

"There's something to be said for the overly meticulous." Snape ignored the comment.

"I also smelled cheap perfume. I was on my way to the Great Hall to confront Bellatrix when Evans asked me why I wasn't at the Owlry to meet you. We headed there, found it empty and was about to head back when a bright light flashed from the Quiddich field."

"Glad I used that Lumos." Fina set her sketchpad aside and stared him in the eye.

"Bellatrix mentioned you're a Death Eater." She waited. He returned her stare. Snape pulled back his sleeve. The skin on his left arm was puckered and shiny, as if seared by a branding iron. A snake. A skull. It was a Dark Mark, all right. She cleared every question that traffic-jammed her brain. One thought culminated from it all: a Death Eater had saved her life. She kept her eyes on him.

"My dad's a Muggle." Silence.

"Do you hate me?"

"No."

"Good. I don't hate you, either." Severus finally broke away and stared at his hands in his lap.

"Go with me to the Hogshead?" Snape filled his lungs with excuses, then sighed.

"I suppose."

The moon was wrapped in its own comforter of clouds, plunging the empty, worn out streets of Brisbin into darkness. Fina parked her Ministry vehicle beside the curb. The Potters followed her up the steps to a brick flat on Prattchet Avenue. She tapped her wand on the door handle and murmured a word. The door opened. Dumbledore was on the other side.

"Please come in." He smiled at the baby in Lily's arms. Fina slumped into a chair by the fireplace. Lily cataloged the faces: Remus, Sirius, Peter, a couple of red-headed folks she knew by face but not by name, an ever-grim Professor McGonagall, Alastor Moody, Marlene McKinnon, an elderly wizard with silver hair.

"What's all this about, Professor?" James asked. Sirius yawned, letting his tongue roll out like a dog.

"Yeah. What's the big bad that you had to drag us out of bed at this gruesome hour?" Dumbledore folded his hands.

"Alice and Frank Longbottom are currently at St. Mungo's in the Spell Damage ward. They have been attacked tonight in their home by a Cruciatus Curse. No one witnessed anyone entering or leaving the home. Their son is unharmed and in safe hands," Dumbledore waited for the assembled to recover from the news, then spoke: "The important thing to remember is they were not killed. Someone left them alive when by all accounts they could have used the Killing Curse on them."

"Who was it?" Peter squeaked.

"He just said no one knows," Sirius snapped irritably.

"The Ministry's working on it," Moody grumbled, "Death Eaters, most likely."

"Obviously," James replied, "anything else?"

"No specific leads were discovered except this," Moody held up a quick sketch of a snake departing the grinning jaws of a skull.

"The Dark Mark," Remus murmured.

"Albus, is that the mark of…"

"Yes, Marlene. I'm sure everyone here is aware of the man who calls himself Voldemort?" Peter twitched at the name. The red-haired woman, herself full of child, shifted in her seat.

"All right, Molly?" She reassured the other redhead with a smile.

"As well as this little Weasley can make me, Arthur."

"Did Voldemort order the attack on the Longbottoms?" Sirius asked.

"It's not unlikely," Fina spoke up from her chair by the fire, "He's been targeting Aurors the last couple of months. Alice and Frank are two of the best. In fact, every department in the Ministry's been scrambling to find the Death Eaters: Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, the Floo Network Department, and I assume Magical Maladies is involved, right, Arthur?"

"That's right. Dropped everything. Ministry orders. Well, except that development on flying vehicles, we're still investigating that on our own time…what's that look for, Molly?"

"We should get to the meat and veg, Professor. Fina's falling asleep." Remus nudged her.

"I'm not sleeping, hairball. I'm just resting my eyes."

"Hairball?" Marlene chuckled. Fina started and mouthed an _'I'm Sorry'_ to Remus. He gave her a pained look, but tapped her foot again with his to assure all was forgiven. Dumbledore nodded to McGonagall, who gained everyone's attention immediately.

"Albus and I encountered an unusual and gifted young lady three years ago. She had come to Hogwarts to look for a job. We decided to hold an interview in the Hogshead to make her feel more at ease. She was a nervous girl. After we got a drop of brandy in her she calmed considerably.

"During the interview, she went quiet for a few moments. We didn't suspect anything odd until she began to wheeze, as if struggling for control over her voice. She made as if to break the room apart the way she trembled. The girl's name is Sybil Trelawney, our current Divination professor. She made a premonition, one that has since given us reason to hope:

_"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches…born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies…and the Dark Lord will mark him as equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not…and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives."_

"However," Dumbledore interjected, "there was a disturbance and a lost student came into the room with the Hogshead bartender behind him. We have assumed he has heard the premonition."

"What if he was a Death Eater? He could have told Voldemort everything. There's no hope, Minerva, if Voldemort knows the premonition!" Molly Weasley cried. Dumbledore took Molly's hand.

"The student heard only half of the premonition, Molly." Everyone grew quiet.

"Half?"

"Yes. Legally, I am not supposed to release the information. Alistor, if you'd be so kind," Dumbledore motioned to Mad-Eye Moody. He muttered the rest:

_"It will happen tonight. The Dark Lord lies alone and friendless, abandoned by his followers. His Servant has been chained these twelve years. Tonight, before midnight…the servant will break free and set out to rejoin his master. The Dark Lord will rise again with his Servant's aid, greater and more terrible than he ever was."_ Silence packed the room. Fina yawned. Remus nudged her again.

"Not much good that does us," James said, "since we already know the servant snuck out of the Hogshead and hotfooted it over to Voldemort."

"The spy in the Hogshead may not be the Servant. At this point, we cannot assume anything. We are, however, certain of one thing. Someone who has been born in July will be marked by the Dark Lord and will bring about his downfall."

"James," Lily met his eyes. Fear and hope creased her face.

"Wasn't Alice and Frank's boy born this July?" Marlene asked. Fina nodded.

"Uncle Ewan assured me Neville hasn't a scratch on him."

"There are several potentials we are checking on. One in America, a couple in Bulgaria, one in France…and your son Harry," Dumbledore spoke to James and Lily, "could possibly be the candidate. Even if he is not, this still puts him in harms way, which is why I've called us together tonight.

"We must protect this child and all the others born of July. Wizards and Witches in the other countries are creating their own Orders to protect their potentials. In one of these children lies our hope of vanquishing Voldemort. The rest still need our vigilance," Dumbledore wiggled his beard at Harry, who reached for it, "they deserve nothing less than their right to live."

"If there is anyone here who doesn't want to cast loyalties one way or the other," Moody announced, "then be on your way. We don't have time to waste on the indecisive." No one moved.

"Then I shall call this the first official meeting of the Order of the Phoenix."

"Grand. We'll pop the champagne later," Sirius shoved Peter aside, "What do we do about Harry?"

"Is there anywhere you three can stay that is unknown to the rest of us?"

"Not really," James said. He looked about ten years older.

"We'd like to send you into hiding right away. I have a place picked out, if that's all right with you. Alastor will perform the Fidelius Charm on your location. You'll need to choose a Secret Keeper."

"No worries there," James nodded at Sirius.

"We'll have Aurors standing sentry at all times. Molly, will you contact your brothers Gideon and Fabian for me?"

"Of course." Molly struggled to standup. Arthur helped her the rest of the way.

"Minerva, the other Orders need to be advised of our course of action."

"I'll send the word directly, Albus." Dumbledore felt a tap on his shoulder. He found a weary yet trepid Fina behind him.

"Professor, who was the student at the Hogshead?" Dumbledore lowered his voice.

"A relieved curiosity does not always satisfy."

"That's the going price for the truth."

"It was Severus Snape." Fina closed her eyes.

"And the servant who would break free and rejoin the Dark Lord?"

"Just as we are searching for the potentials, so too are we searching for the Servant."

A comfortable crowd had settled into their mugs at the Hogshead when Fina pushed the door open and held it for Snape. Lily waved to them.

"Why did she have to drag that greasy hairball along?" Sirius muttered. Lily gave him a dark look.

"Severus practically saved Fina's life. Besides, she can bring whomever she chooses. This is her night, so don't start acting like a git." Sirius made a face into his mug. Fina ordered at the bar, then headed for their booth with Snape in tow. Peter slid over by Lily and James. Fina took his seat. Snape sat beside her on the edge of the seat, perched as if to flee. Remus and Sirius had pulled a couple of stools up to the booth. An order of Buttterbeer was brought to the booth. The tension subsided.

"Welcome back," Remus tipped his mug at Fina.

"Thanks."

"Any word on the bastards who did this to you?" Sirius asked. Lily watched Fina over the rim of her mug.

"They've been reprimanded, Sirius."

"Should've been expelled. Lousy Slytherns. They're rotten, the lot of 'em." He made no attempt to look away from Snape. Peter squeaked into his mug. Fina's face grew warm with anger. Snape narrowed his eyes.

"Every house has low-down dogs in it, Sirius," Fina said. James coughed and looked away. Sirius grew pale, then recovered.

"Watch this one: she's taken a Wit-Sharpening potion."

"I'm surprised you've even heard of it, Black," Snape muttered, "with your marks, I'd assumed you'd never even cracked your Potions book."

"At least I don't use books as a way to hide from the real world."

"Sirius, cut it out," Lily warned.

"He started it…by being born!"

"Will you listen to yourself?" Fina slammed her mug on the table, "Look around you, Sirius! The people in this pub are from Gryffindor and Slythern and Ravenclaw. They're from England, Asia, and America. Are any of them raising holy hell about it? No! It's only you! So do us all a favor and zip your howling screamer." Sirius shoved his stool back and marched away to the bar. The door to the Hogshead opened and Dumbledore, Professor McGonagall, and Cornelius Fudge came in. Dumbledore spoke briefly to the bartender, who quietly escorted them to one of the private rooms upstairs. Fina watched Fudge and McGonagall pass their table. Dumbledore smiled as he walked by.

"Wonder what that was about?"

" 'Scuse me," Peter nudged Fina, "my glass is in need of filling." They stood and let him out of the booth. James wandered over to Sirius.

"Sorry about that," Fina whispered.

"It's not yours to apologize for," Snape replied. His mug remained untouched.

"He's an idiot," Lily explained.

"That's obvious." Remus took a swig of Butterbeer.

"He's just sore because Fina almost broke his nose last year," he chuckled. Snape glanced at Fina.

"It's true."

"Good," he said softly. Something suddenly collided into their booth. It was wrapped in scarves and spectacles.

"My dears," it jangled as it spoke, "do you know the whereabouts of Professor Albus Dumbledore?" Lily, struck speechless, pointed at the stairs.  
"Thank you. Oh, and I would steer clear of jellies today if I were you. Yes," her huge eyes blinked, "that I would." She walked slowly upstairs, making strange murmuring sounds.

"Let in all kinds here, do they?" Lily said. Snape stood up.

"If you'll excuse me." He walked towards the restrooms. Lily winced when he was out of sight.

"I can't believe he came, knowing we'd all be here!"

"I thought the same thing, Lil. But, here we are."

"Something must have motivated him," Lily's smile took on a randy quality.

"Hate to interrupt," Remus nodded towards James, who was whispering something into Madam Rosemerta's ear, "but perhaps I should see what trouble he's causing now."

"Don't bother," Lily stood up, "I'll take care of it." She stalked to the bar and tapped James on the shoulder just as Madam Rosemerta burst into laughter. The look on James's face was without comparison.

"When will they finally admit they fancy one another?"

"When Bellatrix apologizes for trying to kill me."

"I'd give the lovebirds more credit than that." Remus scratched a hand over his askew hair. The scratching grew more vigorous.

"Full moon getting closer, is it?"

"Three days away."

"Steady, Remus. Your hand's giving you away." He fought the urge and his fingers clutched his mug instead. Lily sat down in the booth, absent James.

"Damn Potter." Lily downed her Butterbeer. Sirius approached the booth and tossed a few Sickles on the table.

"See you in the Common room, Lil. Remus." He hunched his shoulders and pushed through the throng to the door.

"That was pleasant," Fina muttered. Suddenly, Snape ran down the stairs. He snatched up his cloak, deposited his share of the bill on the table and headed for the door. The bartender labored down the steps after him.

"Stupid kids. 'Lost' my arse," he grumbled. Lily, Remus and Fina looked back at the stairwell. More was going on up there than they let on. Fina stood.

"Thanks for the drink. Give my regards to James and Peter?" She pushed through the crowd and left the Hogshead just as the rain started to fall.

The shower turned into a deluge as Fina came into sight of Hogwarts. She had left her cloak back in her room, thrown over a chair. As she neared the steps, she saw a lone carriage parked in front, minus a couple of beasts of burden. Fina passed the coach. She stopped dead in her tracks.

"Severus!" the figure climbing the steps into the carriage looked down at her, "out for a joy ride?" Snape started to climb in, then stopped. He sighed.

"Get out of the rain, Hawkins." He moved into the coach, leaving the door open for her. Fina jumped in and swung the door closed. She was beyond damp. She squeezed the rain from her hair.

"Hell of an exit."

"I wasn't feeling well."

"And you say I'm a pathetic liar." Fina dug into her pocket and fished out a bar napkin from the Hogshead. It was soaked. On it was an address to the Ministry.

"I've been accepted into the Beast Division. Werewolf Capture and Registry," she handed the soggy napkin to Snape, "I'll be there if you need to reach me." He held it away from him like a Stinkweed blossom.

"How convenient for Lupin."

"What do you mean?" She tried to sound clueless. Snape snorted.

"I know he's a werewolf." Fina scowled.

"Oh, really? Next you'll be telling me I'm a Bogart."

"Drop the false skepticism, Hawkins. We can thank Sirius Black for that information." Snape related the incident that involved Sirius tricking him into going down the Marauder's path to the Shrieking Shack, where Lupin, in his werewolf form, lay waiting.

"The only reason I'm not dead is because Potter warned me halfway there. He didn't want to get into trouble, so he told me what was in the shack."

"I've never heard about this," Fina murmured.

"Why would you? Potter and Black kept their mouths shut to avoid expulsion, Pettigrew's a toady worm who can't open his mouth without Potter's say so, and it seems Lupin's already let you in on his little secret."

"The wolfsbane gave it away?"

"Try to be more subtle next time."

"Any chance you'd mention where it is you're going?"

"I can't."

"You'll miss graduation."

"It's just an hour of routine tripe that I can do without."

"If it will convince you to stay, I can break the routine and do something shocking to you in front of the whole school," she grinned as realization made his eyes grow big.

"Well, we _are_ parked in front of the school," he murmured, "Does that count?" She realized he was being serious. For all the cold rain she had soaked up, her face burned. The heat inside her, like the day at the library, was affected by her emotions. A year ago, it had been stress that caused the flare. This time it was something stronger. Fina opened the door and rain sprayed her arm. She had to bring her temperature down. So much for awkward fumbling inside the coach. She stopped on the last coach step.

"Use your Legilimacy."

"I beg your pardon?"

"I'm burning up, Severus. Just do it. I'm giving you my permission." _Why?_ Snape refused to look at her. He despised people. He sweated and read too much. He was ugly and he knew it. She _had_ to have known it, too. What unexplainable reason did she have for coming out in the pouring rain just to find him?

"Severus?" A good public snog would have been less intrusive.

"Hold on to something." Fina stepped up to the doorway and braced herself on either side of the door. Snape uttered a string of words under his breath and touched her forehead with his cool fingers. She could feel him, like a brush of fleece, behind her eyes.

_'See this, Severus, and know who I am.'_

_Red flashed. How warm…a shriek of high-pitched anger, beast and blood, do you understand, flesh made whole…_

Snape jerked his hand away. The tips of his fingers were scalded white. Fina took his hand, brushed his fingers over her eyes. A smear of salt water cured the burns on his fingers.

"Goodbye, Severus." She moved away from the carriage, back into the rain. The coach lurched forward and disappeared into the dark. She stayed in the rain until it cooled her flare down to lukewarm temperature. She wasn't aware how waterlogged she was until the flow of rain was blocked by an umbrella. Lily stood under it.

"Come on. Let's get you in front of a fire." Fina allowed Lily to steer her back to Hogwarts.

"In a moment, Lil. First, tell me where Sirius is."

Later that evening, Sirius Black showed up at the Infirmary with a handkerchief mashed against his bloody nose.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

The Resurrection

By the time Fina reached Godric's Hollow, it was dark. She walked through a cool October fog, waving it away from her face. She was still in her Ministry robes. She wanted to drop Lily's book off on her way home and catch up on a bit of news. It had been a busy couple of months in the Beast Division and she hadn't had a chance to visit.

The street, usually lousy with Muggles, was quiet. No last-minute games on the lawn, no lights shinning lemon yellow squares on the sidewalk, just a breathy wind rustling the skeletons of crumbled leaves into the gutter.

"Who's on duty tonight?" Fina searched the fog for a familiar face. She almost tripped when she stepped on something stretched in her path, thick as a tree root.

"Bloody Muggle kids leaving their toys out where…" she bent down and shoved it aside, then recoiled in horror. It was an arm. Fina noticed a severed foot nearby, still in its sneaker. Several humps in the street started coming into view. Muggles lay everywhere in the road. Fina drew her wand. Sweat crept down her back and cooled from shock. One of the humps moved. She brought up her wand and shouted what she had heard her uncles say hundreds of times before:

"Stand and state your name!" The hump rose slowly.

"Albus Dumbledore, at your service, Miss Hawkins." She dropped her arm and exhaled. Fina wound through the chaos to where Dumbledore stood.

"Professor, what happened here? Who attacked all these Muggles?"

"I don't know. I've just arrived myself. Alastor informed me of an explosion at Godric's Hollow and I made all haste to get here at once." Fina turned a circle, wand poked out at the night. _'Whoever did this may still be here.'_ Her foot crushed something glass.

"Bugger." She lifted her foot. A pair of familiar spectacles lay mangled beneath. She darted her eyes over the ground for him, but Dumbledore was already there, kneeling beside the body of James Potter.

"James!" Dumbledore waved her off and stood.

"There is nothing we can do for him now." Fina's mind raced. Who was the bloody Secret Keeper? She eyes went up the street to the Potter's house. The door was open. The house was dark.

"Lily." A hand fell on her shoulder.

"Steady, Fina. We'll go in together." Dumbledore drew out his own wand and they walked up to the house. Fina covered their tracks, scouting the ground and walls for signs of a struggle. The foyer was clean. No violence in the kitchen. Fina's breathing grew rapid. A wave of fire spread in her veins. _'Please let them be safe.'_

"Fina, take a breath," Dumbledore murmured, entering the family room, "James may have allowed them time to escape."

"God, I hope so." They headed upstairs. Dumbledore split off into the main bedroom. Fina stopped in front of the nursery. She tried to push the door open, but it resisted. Fina wedged herself through the opening and uttered "Lumos". Her hand tightened around her wand. The circle of light located what she somehow knew she would find.

Red hair spilled out on the floor. A simple green sweater and jeans filled with still flesh. Delicate brows over thin lashed eyes. Lily was a picture even in death. Fina dropped to her knees. Her tears were useless jewels that slid off of Lily's brow. She touched her hand to Lily's. They were both lukewarm. Professor Dumbledore slid into the room.

"They got Lily, too." Her sweet sister, her confidant. How could this have happened?

"Fina, it's Harry." She turned and joined Dumbledore at the crib. This was what she had dreaded seeing the most.

Harry sat up against the bars, chewing on a toy.

"He's alive?" Fina reached out and ran her fingers over his cheek, just to let the reality sink in. Lily's blood was not completely spilt this night. Fina bent down and gathered Harry against her chest. She didn't clamor for motherhood like her other classmates had. Even now, Harry rested awkwardly in her arms. But he ignored her as if to say, 'I trust you this much'. She let him alone.

An owl pecked at the nursery window. Dumbledore let it in. He scrawled a note off and tied it to the owl's leg.

"Professor McGonagall, please, with all haste." The owl left.

"Professor, he's been injured." Dumbledore watched Fina lift Harry's soft bangs from his skull. He traced the lightning shaped scar on the child's forehead.

"A curse scar."

"From what spell?"

"Avada Kedavra." Fina shook her head.

"No one has ever survived the Killing Curse."

"The proof is right there in your arms."

"The mark is right in the middle of his head, Professor. It's a kill shot. How could he have survived it?"

"He deflected the curse back on his attacker."

"He's an infant! He's had no formal training in deflecting curses!"

"The scar is proof of the exchange." Fina frowned.

"Okay, say I believed you. Whom was the curse deflected at?"

"Someone who felt threatened by the mere existence of Harry," Dumbledore said grimly. Fina put two and two together.

"Are you suggesting Harry deflected an Avada Kedavra cast by _Voldemort_?"

"If he has," Dumbledore rubbed his eyes behind his glasses, "then he has been marked by the Dark Lord as equal." Fina caught the chew toy as it fell from Harry's grip. Her thoughts picked up speed.

"So if Harry's his equal, and he survived, then it's safe to assume Voldemort isn't dead?"

"Your conclusion is extremely valid." She sighed.

"Lily and James's sacrifices were for nothing if Voldemort is still alive."

"I think they would disagree. Their efforts have protected their son and have given us all a reason to hope." Dumbledore jotted down something on a slip of parchment.

"I must be off to Privet Drive."

"What's at Privet Drive?"

"Harry's only surviving relatives." Fina groaned.

"Oh, no. You mean Lily's Muggle sister, don't you? I've met her before, Professor. Don't you think Harry's suffered enough?" Dumbledore frowned.

"Your opinions aside, Fina, that is Harry's destination. He will be safe with them."

"What about his godfather?"

"Sirius is not his blood kin. Besides, we can't seem to locate him at the moment." _'He was their Secret Keeper,'_ she remembered.

"The owl we just saw will bring Harry's escort."

"Who is…"

"Rubeus Hagrid."

"Hagrid…tall bloke with a pink umbrella?"

"And Hogwart's newly acquired Keeper of Keys and Grounds."

"Good for him," Fina said absentmindedly. She watched Harry settle into the crook of her arm as if it were the most comfortable spot in the world.

"I'd like to stay here with him, if it's all right. Just until Hagrid gets here."

"Certainly. Afterwards," Dumbledore handed her the parchment, "would you please retrieve this wizard for me? He's one of our agents who have infiltrated the Death Eaters. He needs to be aware of what has happened tonight." Fina nodded.

"See you at you-know-where."

Time passed like a stretched out cat in one-o-clock sunlight. The night would forever be dragged out through her mind. Every sky would be the faded pastel walls in the nursery. Every smell would remain a little dull in lieu of Harry's infant skin. She would remember it all. She _had_ to. She couldn't let herself forget. The faces she saw had to be sealed. She couldn't recall any of the words spoken that night, but at least she had him pressed in the pages of her memory, bookmarked by the weight and temperature of his body. At least she had that.

The guttering purr of a motorbike coughed, then grew silent. Footsteps that recalled a herd of elephants pounded up the porch and into the Potter's house.

"Anyone here?"

"Upstairs, Hagrid." The elephants ascended to the nursery. Rubeus Hagrid found a young woman with thick, upturned hair and a sharp chin waiting for him.

" 'Ello, Fina."

"I don't have to tell you to be careful."

" 'Course not. He'll be safely tucked away in me coat." Hagrid noticed something organic-shaped lying in a dark corner of the room. Fina had had the foresight to move and cover Lily with a blanket before anyone else arrived.

"Is that…"Hagrid clutched Harry a little closer. Fina could see there was nothing to worry about now. Harry was in safe hands.

"Yes, it's her."

"Poor tyke," Hagrid sniffed, "won't feel his mum's arms around him or hear his dad's voice. Ee'll grow up not knowin' Lily n' James at all."

"Not when he has friends like you, Hagrid. Tell him about his parents. He'll need your memories in the coming years."

"I'll tell him everything," Hagrid had ceased crying, which was exactly what Fina wanted. She couldn't bear seeing Hagrid, a mountain of a man, cry as if his puppy had died.

"Well, almost everything. Please omit anything risqué. The New Years bash we had last year should remain unwritten in the pages of history, thank you."

"All we did was catch a cat."

"And shave it bald."

"Well, it shouldn't 'ave mouthed off like that," Hagrid said indignantly.

"If you hadn't consumed a galleon of rum…"

"That's not true. At least," Hagrid scratched his chin, "I don't think it is." Fina made a slicing motion across her throat.

"Not one word about it to Harry. Got it?"

"Yeah, I got it. Say, weren't you in the kitchen bobbing for…"

"NOT. ONE. WORD."

"Right, right."

"I have somewhere I need to get to. Will you be alright?"

"Sure. The little guy's already dozin' off."

"I'll see you at you-know-where." Hagrid nodded. Fina refused to look at Lily one last time. She left Godric's Hollow hard as stone.

As foreboding as the fog in Godric's Hollow was, it was nothing compared to the murky and dilapidated mire of Spinner's End. Fina checked to make sure she had the correct street. Unfortunately, she did. She could smell the dead industry in the sludge of a nearby river.

_'This guy picked a swell spot to hide out it,' _she stepped in mud up to her ankles, _'because who would be dodgy enough to come looking out here for anyone?'_ She found the cottage, defeated by neglect and atmosphere, and knocked on the door.

_'The silence of this smelly pit is really beginning to eat my nerve.'_ She knocked again, a little fiercer than before. Movement on the other side. About time. Fina glanced behind her shoulder as the door opened and stated the Order's pass-phrase.

"A phoenix is on your lawn."

"Yes, I can see that." She scowled.

"Look, mate, it's been a rough night and I'm in no mood for your…" Severus Snape, arms folded in front of his chest, stood in the doorway.

"You haven't lost that sharp tongue of yours, Hawkins."

"I suppose not," Fina garbled, at a loss for momentum. Snape opened the door fully.

"Come inside. I have to get my cloak." Fina followed him in. He closed the door and left her in the only room in the tiny cottage. She wandered over to his bookshelves. They lined the walls, soldiers of knowledge. _'So many.'_ She touched the spines. Most had been worn very little, but they were obviously read and loved. _'These books have been touched so intimately. I'm jealous of a pile of books. That's sad. '_ Snape returned.

"Who was it this time?"

"Lily and James." She kept her sorrow frozen. Snape closed his books and extinguished the lights.

"And their boy?"

"He's alive." He was suddenly in front of her, swift as a spider.

"Did you see anyone else?"

"No."

"Was anyone with you?"

"Professor Dumbledore. Can't the inquisition wait until we get to Pratchett Avenue?" Snape opened his mouth, then changed his mind. He nodded.

"At least I know now why you never wrote," Fina said, "Was this were you were headed when you left school that day before graduation?"

"I volunteered my services to the Order that morning. We felt the quicker my course of action, the better. Sending an owl to you at the Ministry would have been the same as delivering a Howler: an act of sheer idiocy." Fina got defensive.

"I didn't know you were playing spy for us, Severus. Otherwise, I wouldn't have wasted my time giving you that napkin."

"Yet, waste it you did."

"A little short, aren't we?" Snape headed for the door.

"What were you expecting? Tea and biscuits?"

"A genuine 'hello' would've been nice, since I haven't seen you for two years."

"This is a service call, Hawkins, not a class reunion."

"What'd you have for breakfast-a bowl of cruelty?" Snape sneered at her.

"Did you come up with that yourself, or do we have the Wit-Sharpening Potion to thank?" He held the door open for her and she stormed out.

Molly Weasley, no longer pregnant, greeted Fina and Snape at the door.

"This isn't over," she heard Fina mutter. They moved into the kitchen. Remus, head in his hands, sat at the table. Fina knelt down and covered his hands with her own. His eyes slowly left the darkness of his palms.

"Hey, Mooney," she whispered. He leaned into her shoulder and sighed.

"They're saying Sirius betrayed them," he murmured, "nothing's certain. We're still trying to find him." Lupin sat up and ran a hand through his disheveled hair.

"Peter's dead." She sank into a chair. Another one lost.

"Death Eaters?

"No. That's why we need to find Sirius. The Ministry's involved now. Muggles were killed. All that was left of Peter was," Remus extended his pinkie finger, "and they believe Sirius was responsible."

"Is that really so difficult to believe?" Snape muttered. Fina glared at him.

"He's James's and Peter's closest friend! What reason would he have to harm them?"

"Anyone is capable of betrayal."

"Only those who betray believe that," Fina snapped.  
"Temper, Hawkins. You're ignorant of the background behind the Black family."

"By all means, enlighten me," Fina said with a sarcastic wave of her hand.

"The Blacks are Death Eaters, Fina," Remus said wearily, "all but a couple have supported Voldemort's ideals. Goes back three generations."

"Really?" _'No wonder Sirius palled around with James. Having a family like the Blacks would've unnerved me to the point of emancipation.'_

"If Sirius hated his family's persuasions, what would make him murder the only friend who took him in? There's no reason to assume…"

"It's a perfect reason to assume."

"Come off it, Severus. Your schoolyard rivalry with Sirius isn't proof. If you want to cast suspicion on all Death Eaters," she crossed the kitchen and raked Snape's sleeve up past his Dark Mark, "then let's start right here." The Weasleys averted their gaze. One wizard gasped. Remus scratched behind his ear.

"Way out of line, Hawkins," he growled.

"No more hiding. If you want to cast stones, make sure your own arm is unmarked first." Every head in the kitchen swiveled to see what would unfold next.

"Do you really want to know what I'm capable of?" Fina recalled what Bellatrix said to her the day she was attacked: _'You'd be surprised how cruel he can be.'_ McGonagall, Alistor Moody and Dumbledore walked into the kitchen. Fina split away from Snape and stood by the sink. The Weasleys took post by the icebox, Moody by the back door, Sturgis Podmore and Emmeline Vance sat at the table.

"So few of us left," Molly said. The murder of her brothers was still fresh on her mind. An empty chair at the table marked where Marlene McKinnon would have sat. Dumbledore nodded.

"By now, you all have been made aware of the events that have occurred tonight." The back door swung open onto Moody's hip, jarring him sideways. He grumbled and let Hagrid in. His eye swiveled.

"Thought you were passing on to the front door."

"You mean, this ain't?"

"Any sign of Sirius, Hagrid?" Remus asked.

"Not since he lent me his bike."

"Thank you, Hagrid." Dumbledore watched the half-giant lean against the wall. The house groaned.

"As was said, we all are aware of the following: two of our members of the Order are dead and Voldemort tried to take the life of their child. But Harry survived. He has been marked by Voldemort. And since it seems he has suffered an unexpected defeat, Voldemort has lost whatever power he was amassing. His Death Eaters, though loyal, may scatter."

"A blessing to be sure," Remus muttered.

"But He's not dead, is He?" Emmeline interjected.

"A bit of caution for everyone: we should not become so complacent as to assume Voldemort will never rise again. Because Harry lives, so, too, does Voldemort. Vigilance during the coming years will serve us all. In the meantime," he removed his hat, "the Order of the Phoenix will disband unless further need should arise."

"If that day comes, just send the word. We'll be there in half a tick," Arthur said.

"Is this wise?" Fina looked grim, "You just told us Voldemort could regain his power."

"The Order's main purposes were to find and protect the one who could vanquish Voldemort and to capture the Death Eaters. Because of the events that have unfolded tonight, the Order has been rendered useless."

"You can't honestly think the Death Eaters will give up quietly," Sturgis pointed out.

"The Auror's will make quick work of 'em. They no longer have their master to hide behind," Moody advised.

"What about Harry?" Molly asked.

"He is protected, so long as he is living at his aunt's house."

"And when he's of age to attend Hogwarts?"

"He will have to learn to protect himself, Molly, sooner or later." Fina wasn't satisfied. Harry was the only part of Lily that she had left. She quietly worked out her own plans as the members of the Order consoled, chatted and began to leave.

"Severus, may I speak with you a moment?" Dumbledore and Snape disappeared into one of the rooms down the hall. Remus stood from the table and stretched. A good quantity of his bones cracked and popped.

"Feels like I've aged ten years tonight."

"Aye," Fina rubbed the grit from her eyes.

"Merely an observation, but I thought you and Snape were bread and butter. What happened?"

"I gave him too much credit, that's what."

"I thought for a moment you were going to have a go at him."

"If I could've gotten my hands on him, I would have." She looked Remus in his half-wolf eyes. If anyone could understand her plans, he would.

"Remember at the end of our sixth year when Dumbledore called us to his office?"

"Yes."

"Remember when he told us we would have a choice to make?" He could see where this was going. Remus waited.

"I've made mine."

"You thought this through?"

"Tonight cast the deciding vote."

"You know you may never be able to change back, Fina."

"What's there to come back to, Remus? My father's dead, Lily's gone…"

"What about your mother?" Fina scoffed.

"She's not coming back. I have no one. Even Severus…" she let the thought fall away, "I'm less useful in this form."

"And what if every time you're reborn, a piece of you is lost until you are consumed by the beast, with nothing but instincts in the place of your memories? No voice to help you remember. Are you ready to make this kind of decision without any regrets? Or," Remus stared her in the face, "is this your way of hiding from it all?" Fina blushed in anger.

"I'm _not_ hiding. I would never use Transfiguration to hide. I want to help."

"Then stay at the Ministry. Keep your eyes and ears open. You don't have to change everything just because you lost Lily."

Lost. Not exactly. Wallets got lost. Lily, James, her father; they were gone, brushed away like crumbs from a savory meal. The stone inside her grew soft. She hadn't properly mourned them. She had moved on without pausing to bid them farewell. Tears spilled onto her cloak. She had always been afraid her tears would consume her and reduce her to her most vulnerable. Lately, they were just an exercise in soothing her soul. But now she was beyond sympathy, beyond the broken faucet of tears. She craved action more than redemption.

The door down the hall opened. Fina spooned the last of her tears onto her fingers and flicked them away. Remus gathered his coat.

"Meet me tomorrow for tea?"

"My place," Fina offered.

"Do you still live on Two Penny Circle?" She nodded. Remus waved as he left. Snape took his cloak from the kitchen doorknob and drew it around himself. Fina blocked the doorway.

"If you'll kindly move aside, Hawkins."

"You recall what I showed you the day you left Hogwarts?" She had his attention now.

"Not an easy thing to forget."

"The Order may be finished, but I'm not."

"He doesn't need a baby-sitter." Fina drew her mouth into a grim line.

"Birds can't baby-sit, Severus." Snape crossed his arms.

"Ah, now the mighty plans unfold. Are you so desperate for a friend that you'll transfigure yourself just to be close to Evan's son?" Her stare ground into the floor.

"He doesn't need a friend. He needs a Phoenix."

"Hawkins, don't get overdramatic." Snape tapped the kitchen door with his wand and uttered "Imperturbable." He did the same to the back door.

"What do you think the Death Eaters do when one of their own betrays them?"

"They treat the betrayer no better than the rest of us who fall under their wands, I suppose," Fina muttered.

"Wrong," he murmured, "they're much more cruel and cunning to those who betray the Dark Lord. Death Eaters will torture and execute the betrayer's family…"

"And if you have no family?"

"Then they seek out those closest to you." Fina could feel the scars from Bellatrix's hex itch on her back.

"Does Bellatrix know you're spying for the Order?"

"No. She just didn't like competition."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Never mind."

"So your excuse for being a jerk this evening is because you don't want the Death Eaters to kill me?" she snorted, "well, what's your excuse for the other seven years?" Snape flushed. Her last remark seemed to have struck a nerve.

"Habit, I suppose." Fina crossed the cheap linoleum floor until the toes of her boots touched Snape's shoes.

"I want to remain friends with you." She reached for his face, but Snape caught her before she could reach it. He gave her hand a slight tug and pulled her to him. His arm went around her waist. She could practically swim in the nervous reek he was putting off, and oddly enough, that was comforting.

"You girls seem to only want a friend." She anchored herself with a hand on each of his shoulders. She leaned forward.

"Fine. I don't want you for a friend."

"Uh, Hawkins? You're standing on my foot."

"And your point is?"

"It's kind of heavy."

"Would you rather I moved?"

"Not really, no." They spent a silent minute invading each other's personal space. It was the closest each had let another person into their domain. Just as Fina's nose brushed against Snape's, he pulled away. Fina drew her arms back into her cloak. _'Still too timid to kiss him, eh, dear?'_

"Take care of yourself, Severus." Fina opened the door, breaking the Impurturbable Charm.

"Fina?" She stopped. _'This is a first…'_

"Yes?"

"If you're finished with my Potions notes, would you return them to me? I've misplaced my own, somehow." She exhaled wearily.

"Yes, I'll send an owl first thing tomorrow with your ruddy Potions notes."

They locked up and parted ways.

She never saw Severus Snape again.

_"Merry Christmas, Fina." _

That was how it started. A simple holiday acknowledgement.

"_Oh, before you leave, we need to discuss your fever." She had parked herself back in her chair. Dumbledore pulled out a yellowed piece of parchment, wrinkled from time and travel._

"_This letter was delivered to me on a very hot August afternoon. All of the windows in my house in Surrey were open and the owl had no trouble dropping it in my pudding. The letter was from a woman who had no one left to turn to; a woman who needed to pass the safety of her child into hands that would protect and teach her. _

"_You see, that child was you, Fina. When you were born, the Muggle doctors found your body struggling to fight off a disease they had no name for. Your mother and father watched you fight and, day by day, grow weaker. Muggle medicine could do nothing for your ailment. Your mother decided to find a cure from the Wizarding community. Since most spells dealing with mortality are dangerous and generally forbidden, she turned to an apprentice wizard, who was fresh out of Hogwarts, for help._

"_But the student was not about to perform something as complex as body-soul transfiguration without a price. He would not only attempt to cure you using extreme measures to achieve the first body-soul transfiguration, he would also be insuring you lived a long life. He made an arrangement with your mother: He would perform the transfiguration. If the transfiguration failed, nothing would be exchanged and he and your mother would part ways. If you survived, your mother owed him a lifetime of service. She agreed."_

"_Professor," Fina's words scraped in her dry throat, "what did he do to me?"_

"_He took the blood of a phoenix, which is a master skill in and of itself, since a Phoenix will reincarnate seconds after their death. However, a few seconds is more than enough time to gather the blood needed for the spell."_

"_But it's a sin, isn't it, to kill a pure creature?"_

"_That is correct. Anyone who kills a phoenix and harvests its blood will be cursed with a half-life. Because it was a phoenix, the concept of life eternal makes the curse that much stronger. However, your mother breached that law by mingling the blood of the phoenix within herself first, then transferring it to you."_

"_Why would my mother use her blood?"_

"_You are her only daughter. She was prepared to sacrifice everything."_

"_So, after the transfusion, I was no longer sick, was I?"_

"_Not exactly," Dumbledore pulled a hand over his beard, "when the phoenix blood mixed with your own, your fever increased rapidly and all color abandoned your body. Your mother likened it to a white spot your eye sees after staring at the sun. She said the transfusion left you weak and with a few side effects, including small patches of down under your arms and neck. These feathers molted within a few minutes and smoldered to ashes due to your body temperature."_

"_So," Fina went over the deluge of information spilled in the last few minutes, "I've got phoenix blood in me that makes my fevers extremely hot and I had feathers growing under my armpits?"_

"_I wish I could say it was a fabrication."_

"_That makes two of us. What does this make me, sir?"_

"_It makes you the first person to survive an interspecies transfiguration spell. You and your phoenix genes have mutually inhabited your body since your birth. Very few species can cross-mingle with humans, with the exception of werewolves. I have a theory that it is due to your mother's participation. Her act of selflessness combined with the diluted phoenix blood created a powerful spell."_

"_What happened to Mum?"_

"_She was given a curse mark from the student wizard, as a reminder of their bargain. She left with you and took you home. She stayed by your side for four days until your fever broke. Once she saw you in strong health, she packed her things and left."_

"_To keep her promise to that joke of a wizard?"_

"_No, to complete her protection of you. She feared the student wizard would come after you for further experimentation. She had had the foresight not to mention your father to the young wizard and left you in his care. The Muggle world was a safe place for you. She never returned to it." Questions crowded the surface of her boiling mind. _

"_Did my father know about all this?" Dumbledore shook his head._

"_She only told two people about this endeavor."_

"_Who was the other person?"_

"_An old family friend-Mr. Ollivander."_

"_The wand maker?"_

"_The very one. She went to see him shortly after she left you and your father. She had a task for him. During your transfusion, you started to lose your feathers. Your mother's eyes are nothing short of remarkable. That may be where you get your impeccable eye for artwork. She noticed the young wizard snatch two feathers and slip them into the pocket of his robe."_

"_Please tell me that guy doesn't have two bits of me sitting in a box in his laboratory," Fina groaned. _

"_He doesn't. Your mother refused to leave any part of you behind for him to violate. She distracted him long enough to brush against him and retrieve the two feathers from his pocket."_

"_Didn't he notice they were gone?"_

"_He may have."_

"_What would he have done with the feathers?"_

"_It's hard to speculate. A lot can be done with the feathers of a phoenix. Feathers from a crossbred human/phoenix are rare indeed. Perhaps he couldn't pass up the chance to experiment."_

"_What did Mum do with the feathers?"_

"_She gave them to Ollivander and asked him to make a pair of wands. She was hoping, because of the Phoenix feather in them, that one would choose you. However, you ended up with a twelve inch walnut wand with a dragon's heartstring inside." Fina narrowed her eyes. That meant those feathers were still out there. _

"_What happened to the wands?" Dumbledore held up another piece of parchment._

"_This came from Mr. Ollivander a few weeks after your second birthday. He knew I was your mother's other confidant. He told me one of the wands had been sold that day to a young wizard who had broken his wand and needed a replacement."_

_"The apprentice Mum went to."_

_"Yes."_

_"You know his name, Professor. Please give me that much." _

_"His name is Tom Riddle." Fina scrunched her eyebrows together. The name meant nothing to her._

_"Perhaps you would know him better as Voldemort?"_

_"Now, that name I've heard of. He's a lunatic. And Mum made a Life Oath with him?"_

_"He gave her his first Dark Mark." Fina absorbed everything in a few moments silence. What the heck was a Dark Mark? Wasn't Voldemort some pure-blood fanatic with father issues? She stared into the painting she had just created. It seemed so meaningless now. _

_"So, Dad's not in any danger?"_

_"I can't say for sure. Voldemort has a campaign against anyone with Muggle roots. Your father isn't a likely target, but I would encourage him to be cautious, just the same."_

_"How could she do this to us?"_

_"Don't misunderstand your mother, Fina. She had the best intentions. Perhaps, in her desperation, she chose the wrong path. She is paying for it with the pact she made with Voldemort. You have a life of freedom in exchange for her servitude. I suspect she wouldn't want anything less." Fina didn't know how to feel about that. She wondered about the other wand with a piece of herself stuck inside. Her forehead began to feel hot. She fanned herself._

"_Marvelous. She made me a freak." Dumbledore leaned forward._

"_There are many who have to live with something they had no choice in. Your situation isn't ideal, but there are worse cases." _

"_Name me one," Fina muttered bitterly. Dumbledore, to her surprise, smiled._

"_I was hoping you'd suggest that." He held a finger to his lips, then beckoned her to the fireplace. He pressed a brick and a door rolled away from the back of the chimney. They walked through a confusing maze of tunnels, only to come out in the dusty, torn apart cellar of an old house. A figure lay in the shadows. Dumbledore lit the tip of his wand._

"_This young man couldn't make it to see his family this holiday on account of his condition." Fina noticed the torn bits of bedding, the raked grooves in the petrified wood. _

"_A werewolf."_

"_He's no longer in his wolf form. You can see him, if you'd like." She gave Dumbledore a weary look, then snatched up her own wand and muttered, "Lumos." She could make out a shoulder, through a thin shirt, jutting up to the ceiling. Chaotic sand colored hair masked his face. She slowly bent down on her haunches and paused. A brief glance at Dumbledore told her she wasn't overstepping any boundaries. She pulled his hair away from his face. Her wand clattered on the dusty floor._

"_Remus." He stirred, but slept on. She was on her knees, finding scars with her fingers on his arms, his throat, his back. She drew her hand away when his breathing changed. Had she woken up the beast within? _

"_How does he live like this?"_

"_He does it simply _to_ live, Fina. Remus understands his body is beyond his control for a few days each month and has decided to accommodate his situation by living here in the Shrieking Shack."_

"_Interesting name."_

"_The students came up with it," Dumbledore grinned. Remus blinked. His nose flared. _

"_Professor?"_

"_By the door, Remus." Fina felt a warm hand close over her wrist. _

"_Thought I smelled something nice." _

"_Evening, Remus."_

"_What's this all about?" Dumbledore approached his students._

"_I don't like to meddle, but perhaps you two can reach an understanding while you're attending Hogwarts. I know I can trust you both to keep the other's identity confidential."_

"_Sure," Remus and Fina said together. They let a small smile pass between them. It was a start. _

Dumbledore set the Sorting Hat back up on the shelf. The Hat yawned, tearing a gaping hole into the cloth, then pieced it neatly together when he smacked his lips and slouched back into sleep. His hand was a little knobbier around the knuckles and sported a few more veins, like tracing paper rivers, than it had a few years ago. Albus heaved the day from his lungs as he collapsed into his chair. His first year as Headmaster had officially begun that evening when he greeted the new First Years. Headmaster Dippet rested his chin on his chest in his portrait, snoring like a swarm of drunken bees. That didn't seem so bad an afterlife. Sleep was something Dumbledore was becoming rather fond of in his later years. A scarlet phoenix preened herself beside his chair. His finger went up to her absentmindedly and he stroked her head. She bent her head to the side, accepting the attention. A knock at his door jarred him slightly from his thoughts.

"Yes?" Minerva McGonagall stuck her head into the room.

"Albus, Severus Snape just arrived."

"Please show him to the Potions classroom, as I'm sure he has had a long journey. And have the kitchen elves fix him something to eat." McGonagall nodded, turned to leave, then turned back.

"Yes, Minerva?"

"Do you think," she glanced at the phoenix, "that we made a rash decision?"

"It was never ours to make."

"She'll never be as she was, Albus." Dumbledore watched the bird at his side shake its head as if tossing McGonagall's opinion off.

"She may surprise us yet."

"I'll see to Severus." The phoenix trilled.

"Shall I send him your regards, Fawkes?" The bird bowed her head and stuck out her chest, her wings unfurled and brilliant. McGonagall almost smiled.

"Love is wasted on the young," she muttered and left the Headmaster's chambers.

Dumbledore stood up and crossed the room to his Pensive. He opened the cabinet, fetched the stone basin from the cupboard and set it on a nearby table. Touching his wand to his temple, he peeled another memory from his mind and coiled it into the Pensive. He put the basin away, locking the doors on a swirling image of a girl who was transfiguring her bones and being into a shape that soothed wounds and grew hope.

Half of her flesh given to her other self.

Her first and last name split and became another.

She was reborn a vigilant sentry for The Boy Who Lived.

THE END


End file.
